Lost in the deep blue of my mind

1

My chest burnt. Lungs craving oxygen, pleading me to resurface and take a breath. I ignored them, if I took a breath all my worries, problems, and demons that plagued my mind would also take a breath. That meant I would be back where I started; and there was no way I was going back to that. Not by myself. Facing people and their judgmental eyes and disapproving shakes of the head that I knew too well. No. I refuse to let myself go back to such a merciless war zone.

My body stiffened, cramping under the strain my body was going through. I forced myself to relax. Letting my body be comforted and reassured by the water that surrounded me.
For the first time I opened my eyes; looking above me I could see the bright translucent blue unveiling and consuming all secrets. Nothing could be hidden, yet nothing could be found.

I then looked down at the deep dark colour, the tempting coldness seemed to pull my body closer to it as if it wanted me. I looked up once again as a sort of final goodbye.  However, I saw a face, his face. Zen's face. His grey-white hair being caressed by the water.

Then I gazed at his green eyes, the piercing green reviled an underlying strain and desperate plea on his face. I saw his neck, which was followed on by his shoulder, and from his shoulder I could see an outstretched hand frantically trying to grab mine.

  Without my mental consent my arm reached out for his. As soon as our finger tips brushed past each other's, my craving for oxygen turned from a dull drowning to a desperate aching and yearning for oxygen.
My feet began to kick as my arms frantically thrashed towards Zen. He grabbed my arm and we both propelled our selves towards the surface. The blue surrounding us was getting brighter, I could almost feel the sunlight on my skin. Finally we both raised our heads to the surface.
My breathing was heavy and my body was in shock. As Zen pulled me further and further on to land as far away from my almost fateful friend. His firm muscular arms pulled my close before the cold could freeze me and my semi-frozen heart.

Wrapping them around my small body, pushing me on to his chest. He kissed me on the top of my head.
"I'm here now. It's okay now, because I'm here." I could she tears in his eyes, threatening to flow down his precious face.
"I nearly lost y-!" His voice got caught at the back of his throat as the magnitude of the event pushed its full wait on to his body.
I then felt a tear run down my face, and then another. Soon enough I was crying my eyes out sniffling on Zen's wide chest, no holding back. It felt nice.  I'd never cried like that before. Slowly I realised that I wasn't crying because I had nearly killed myself. No, what scared me more was the fact I nearly put the person I loved and cared about the most through the trauma of losing the person he loved the most.

Closing my eyes I decided to relax and think about all the good things I was going to do for Zen and with him to make up for one of the worst things I could of ever done to him.
I decided their and then that Zen and myself were the only people I had to care for in my life, because that's all that mattered.
"Oh crape!" I sighed.
"I forgot to feed the cat."
I felt Zen's gaze fall down on to my face. He just stared at me for awhile, until he burst out laughing.
I knew everything would be fine.