Author's Note

Chapter 12 - Truth

⚠️ IMPORTANT WARNING ⚠️: In this chapter there is a brief mention of serious themes, such as depression and eating disorders. Please, please, if you think it will trigger you, DO NOT READ THE PART THAT I HAVE NOTED. I will put a ⚠️ above it and try not to include any important book parts. When I feel the triggering piece is over, I will enclose it with a 🔶 to indicate that reading from there on will be safe. This mention is very brief and I don't think I explicitly say what they are, but there are symptoms and I am begging you to be careful. Thank you

I couldn't. It took me so long to actually get sleepy that dawn had broken before I'd had the chance. I could feel gazes; hurt gazes, confused gazes, fixed upon my back, yet I refused to turn and meet them. It felt as though they were burning into me, thawing into my skin. Somehow, I could feel when two of the gazes left me. Somehow, I knew which one remained.

The glowing, dancing flames from my sword had flickered out eventually, and yet it had gotten so light over time that it barely made any difference. I could make out each grain of dirt now, each vein in each leaf. In the real world, I would've been petrified of lying on the dirt like this: spiders and centipedes and creatures of all different forms. And I'd rather they kept away from me, thank you very much. But there was no threat of them scuttling silently across the ground towards me, no threat of them crawling all over my skin. I didn't know which threat was more scary to me, to be honest: being here, or being real.

I didn't sleep. Not like it made any difference. I never sleep.

We began walking again as soon as we'd all woken up. We came across a nearby stream, which was all we could use for washing, and Keith spent an alarmingly long time doing just that. When he came back, his skin practically glowed, and his teeth were so white they almost looked neon. I found myself snorting at Thomas's dumbfound, jealous expression, which earned me a wink in response. Some boys.

But it was oddly refreshing, even if the water was absolutely freezing and not the cleanest in the world. I loved it.

After that, there's not much I can tell you. We walked, we slept, I went to school and did more writing. It was a loop, it happened for a couple of weeks, because of how I had to write my book. Two chapters on travelling. Two weeks of travelling. Then we'd get to some plot points. But for now, it was just walking, fighting, whatnot. I have no idea how on earth I managed to fill two chapters with that, but all I know is that there was lots of description and lots of fights. Eight thousand words of them.

Two weeks of not talking to Katherine, either. I barely spoke to Thomas and Keith as it was, but when I did, it was absolutely necessary, usually about the plan. We fought together, we worked together, but we didn't speak. It was painful, I won't lie, it hurt and it was my fault, but it was for the best. Some things just had to be done.

Their gazes kept burning into me for the first few days, and I knew they were wondering if, on that specific day, I'd talk to them. Which I never did, so they stopped after a while. I also knew they were wondering why on earth I was tagging along. But thankfully, no one said anything.

They were getting impatient. Two weeks of travelling did something to you; their motivation dwindled like a dying fire, begging to stay, to grow, but having nothing to fuel it. Thomas was a lot more on edge, his anger was set off a lot more easily. Keith was just quiet. He'd laughed and joked at the start, but he grew quieter and quieter as the trip went on. I suppose there was nothing to really laugh about anymore, it was just the same stuff over and over again. Katie was the only one who didn't change, always laughing, always smiling, always trying to lighten the mood, to be the fuel for their fire. She still had her nightmares, she still had her insomnia, but she still somehow managed to keep Keith and Thomas happy and motivated, so I owed her hugely. I couldn't imagine how Thomas and Keith would cope if she wasn't there, if something happened to her. She was literally a ray of sunshine.