Dazai x Reader (AU!) | Like A Dust

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Requested by IgotBangtaned

I hope, that this what you wanted^^

Warning: angst, mentions of suicide

This is a Hotarubi No Mori E AU! Inspired by one of Dazai Osamu's stories.

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"It's funny isn't it? Two broken souls met together just to break each other even more.

We met each summer. I was coming to that house each summer to have rest and ease my mind. The house was situated near the forest, which was famous for different legends about some mysterious creatures and lost souls wandering there in the night, although it never scared me. Otherwise, I loved walking there. Especially, at night, when the moonlight was crawling through the leaves and falling on the ground and fireflies could be seen easily.

And during one of such nights, I met her.

(Y/N) wasn't really a human. She was...something else. She herself didn't even know what exactly. She didn't belong to the supernatural creatures, nor to humans. She was something in between. She looked like a human (and I thought, that she was really pretty) and she behaved like a human, but...

Human's touch would be the end of her.

It was one of the first things, she warned me about, but I didn't care. I have met a lot of women. Like almost every other male human being, I used to be in love, I used to admire some of them, I used to flirt with them, but I never had a girl as a friend. So maybe not touching each other wasn't going to be that bad?

Oh how I was wrong.

I'm good in strategy. I can predict almost everything...but I couldn't predict that I was going to fall in love.

It happened not just because (Y/N) was pretty and gentle. It was because she was the only one, who fully understood me. I could tell her my deepest secrets, fears and she would always understand how I was feeling. She never judged me. She accepted me the way I was and this was what I have always wanted.

As time passed, I started to have...desires. I wanted to touch her, to brush her hair, to have a taste of those pretty pink lips, to caress every part of her perfect body. But I couldn't. And then, what I thought was a blessing, became a curse.

The time passed soon and that day has arrived. The day, when she asked me to go to that festival, which is celebrated by all the creatures living in that forest.

And right, in the middle of the party, when everyone was celebrating and having fun, she suddenly got quiet and said those four words...

"I want to die."

I don't remember how it happened. I suggested her what I have suggested a lot of times before, but she was the first one, who agreed. We ran to the bridge, that was built over a fast-flowed river.

And then she said her last words

"I love you."

The moment I heard it, my heart skipped a bit. Never have I heard these words.

This was why we two jumped into that river with smiles on our faces, while holding each other's hands. And then...you know what happened."

By the time, Dazai finished telling his story, tears were running down his face as he was squeezing the sheets on his hospital bed so hard so that his knuckles turned white. He tried to say something else, but words got stuck in his mouth and he only coughed.

Odasaku could only pat his shoulder and look sadly at the white floor. There was literally nothing he could do to help his friend. Everything Dazai ever wanted and needed vanished like a dust. No words will ever be enough because the only words, that can help him are words said by her.

"Dazai..." Odasaku started "You know, maybe if you try to write your feelings out...maybe this will help you?"

"Nothing will help me..." Dazai answered, while still crying "She's gone. I will never hear her voice, see her beautiful eyes, talk with her...She vanished. And this is all my fault...completely my fault..."

This time, Odasaku had nothing to answer.

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