Manwhore- Larry Stylinson #wattys2015

Chapter 3

Have you ever felt like after something happened you were reborn? Your whole life changed completely with just a few words? Did you see it impossible? Or did you not question anything and just went with it? I didn't know what to think, wrapped up in an invisible bubble, as if I'm a baby who's going to show out to the world any moment, the real world, and not what he's, I've, known for what seems to be forever.

"And this is where you'll be living," It took me time to proceed what he was saying, "Obviously we're gonna organize this a little bit so it would be more clean and comfortable for you, but don't worry about it right now, what matters now is to get you to feel better, right?" I nodded slowly, "You wanna take a shower?" I nodded again, "C'mon, I'll show you to the shower, and I've bought you pajamas so take it from the bag and come with me okay?" I nodded one last time, then I walked downstairs and grabbed the pajamas from the bag I put on the couch, then I went back upstairs and he showed me to the bathroom and explained me where everything was.

"I'll be right downstairs, making us something to eat, so if you need anything just shout." He instructed, I nodded "Okay, thanks." He smiled and walked away. I closed the door, put the pajamas on the counter and slowly ran my hand on the towel Louis had hung up for me, it was soft and strong. And looked pretty much new and clean and smelled good. Not like the old, crumbling, dirty, smelly "towels" we all used back there. I still couldn't believe I was out of there. After all this time wishing my terrible life were just a bad dream, I felt more like this was a dream, the moment I was living now was all my imagination's creation, a dream made of a great fantasy of mine that, sadly, I would soon be forced to get out of.

I felt my pajamas one last time, it was soft and warm, just what you need on this time of the year, not like what I used to sleep in for the last 4 and a half years, only a pair of boxers, even on the coldest nights of the winter, I had to sleep with those, on a thin, old mattress, under a thin blanket. I tore myself out of the memories and stood in the bathtub, on the wall were hung two different sponges, the blue one was Louis', who mentioned that he was very hygienic -or maybe it was just some excuse for being afraid that I'd gotten something, maybe some diseases, doing what I did- And he gave me a green one to be mine, I turned on the water, and, being used to freezing water, I grabbed the bottle that said "Shampoo", put some on my hand and started shampooing my hair, after a little while standing like that, shampooing my hair, in front of the still running water, I gasped and yelped when I felt warmer water hitting my feet, it was as painful as if the water were burning. I felt insane, I was so used to freezing water, that warm water hurt me, so I slowly stepped under them and washed the shampoo off my hair, slowly getting used to the warmth, after I put on conditioner, then when I finished with it I washed it off. Then I grabbed my sponge and soaked it with water and added soap. I turned off the water and started scrubbing it against my arm, each scrub was harder and stronger than the one before it, and it was like that over my whole body, as I couldn't get rid of the feeling I was still dirty, still so terribly filthy, no matter how much and how hard I'd scrub the sponge on myself, I'd still be dirty. I knew it was all in my head, for the last 4 and a half years there wasn't a day I didn't feel dirty even if I had taken a shower twice a day.

Eventually, I gave up, I threw the sponge aside and sat down in the tub, cuddled up in my-soap-covered-self, and started crying and sobbing madly "I'm dirty. So dirty, so filthy and disgusting, no one should like me, I'm ugly and disgusting and so terribly dirty." I repeated, though I didn't have to say it out loud to convince myself that it was true.

Then I heard a knock on the door "Harry?" I had to take a few seconds to recognize the voice as Louis'.

"Yes?" I mumbled.

"Are you alright there? What's taking so long? Do you need anything?" He sounded concerned.

"No!" I hurried to say, I didn't want him to come in and see me naked, he had seen enough, now that I finally realized that my body really was safe, I was afraid for anyone beside me see it or touch it.

"Okay then" I heard him say "The food's ready, remember, if you need anything just shout."

"Okay... I'll be right finishing up here..." I said.

"Fine, I'm downstairs." I didn't hear him walk away, but I was pretty sure he did, I washed what was left from the soap on my body, then stepped out of the tub onto a small carpet right next to it, grabbed the towel Louis hung for me, wiped my hair and body, put on the pajamas, brushed my hair and got out and downstairs, he was smiling at me as I entered the kitchen and took a sit next to him.

"Hope you're hungry." He said smiling.

I shrugged, "My appetite cannot be trusted." I could hear him chuckle and we started eating.

on each plate there was a toast with melted cheese, and next to it some chopped vegetables. Nothing major, just an ordinary nightly meal for two people who weren't too hungry.

"Okay then," Louis was the first one to break the comfortable silence "I'm  finished, and I see you're too, so I guess we'll take off to our bed then." I nodded slowly, still chewing slowly on my last stripe of red pepper, and staring at some random spot while he picked up the dishes and put them in the sink.

"Goodnight Harry." He spoke up for the last time that night, and headed towards the exit.

"Goodnight" I mumbled, though he probably didn't hear me, he already left the kitchen and was now walking upstairs, so I followed, turning off every light behind me.

As I approached my new bedroom, I slowly lied down on the bed, and almost moaned at how comfortable it was. If there was anything I didn't get used to even after 15-16 years, it was the terribly uncomfortable mattress I had to sleep on. I could get used to it, I thought to myself as I rolled on my side, covered myself up with the warm blanket, closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep.