Fluidity

Both

There are two genders, my mother always tells me. You're a boy, or you're a girl. You cannot change that fact. You, Nadia, are a girl.
That is what my mother told me at the age of 6. I had told her, something was off. I didn't want to be a girl. But it didn't feel permanent. It was just, today. Today I didn't feel like being a girl.
She had glared.
You, Nadia, are a girl.
I like both boys and girls, and I told my mother this when I was 10. Boys were cute, and girls were pretty.
You can't like both, Nadia. There are two sexualities, but only one is right. You like boys. That is called straight. Straight is good, straight is normal. If you liked girls, you would be gay. Gay is bad. You aren't gay.
But I knew this. I knew I wasn't gay. Because I liked boys, and I liked girls.
At the age of 12, I told my best friend. Some days I wanted to be a boy.
She told me that was called transgender. She told me transgender was bad, because God created you one way, and you had to stay like that.
But, I tried to explain, I didn't want to be a boy all the time.
She just shook her head. You're a boy, or a girl, she told me. You can't be both.
I went home and cried, because everything I was was wrong.
My 15 sister came into my room and asked me what was wrong. I told her, I told her I wanted to be a boy sometimes, and I liked girls, and I liked boys.
And apparently she thought she could hit the badness out of me.