I'll Catch You

Chapter Seventeen:

Niall’s P.O.V.

Liam swept into the kitchen all smiles and good humor.

“Gooooood morning gorgeous. You look stunning this morning, let me tell you.” 

Considering I hadn’t slept in three days, my hair was sticking up in every direction, and I had gigantic bags under my eyes, I assumed he was being sarcastic and didn’t even humor him with a response. Instead, I just kept staring at Jess’s contact in my phone.

I wanted to text her, I really did. But that little voice of reason in the back of my mind kept me from actually doing it.

I needed to focus on the band because that was first priority, and the last time I had fallen for a girl it had ended disastrously. Not only had Amy compromised all my time and kept me from the boys, but she had only been in it for the fame of being “Niall Horan from One Direction” ’s girlfriend. I was ashamed even to think about her.  

Besides my bad experiences with girls, the lads and I had a new tour coming up and a single in the works. A single that I was supposed to be writing. Much to my dismay, no ideas had come to me yet. I guess in the infamous words of Calvin and Hobbes, inspiration strikes me in the form of last minute panic.

“Man, why don’t you just text her? You only knew her for twelve hours yet not hearing from her since is tearing you apart. Don’t even try to deny it.”

“You know why I can’t. I explained it to you very thoroughly, though considering you were texting Maddi the entire time I doubt you heard very much of it.” I snapped.

“I heard it all, don’t worry. Single, tour, blah blah blah. But you have to consider your happiness too. I get that One Direction is a huge part of that, but were all just best mates. I love you like a brother, but there is something about a relationship that really makes a man feel whole. And I want to see you like that again.”

“Well once I start working on the single I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“Whatever you say. I respect your decision, but I wish you’d at least consider my advice.”

“Okay, let me think about it. Nope. Won’t do it. I need to focus and she helps me do anything but that.”

“Alright mate.”

Thankfully a Ding! from his phone saved me from having to come up with more reasons  (or excuses, I’m not sure which they are) not to text Jess. From the way he smiled, I knew it was Maddi he was texting, but he simply just walked upstairs and didn’t try to make a point about how he was able to like a girl and be in the band at the same time.

Thank goodness. I’m so exhausted and emotionally stressed that I might have ripped his head off. That would have removed the puppy-dog grin from his face pretty quickly.

I’ll fall in love when the time is right. If the time isn’t right, it can’t be love. 

I have always believed in fate setting things up perfectly for people, but how was it that I was still thinking about a girl that I had barely met and who I knew I didn’t have the time for?

Pondering this, I picked up my guitar and started to strum some chords.

Music has always helped me sort things out, maybe, I thought, it would do the same here. Then again, I can’t remember the last time I had a problem this complicated or close to heart. Two of the most important things were in contention: my music and dream and the hunt for my princess. How could I pick one over the other? Its the worst feeling when logic and emotion clash. 

I guess I now understand the meaning of heartsick.

I know what I should have done those three days ago, to see if this sort-of relationship means anything. To be honest, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner - its how the princes find their princesses in every fairy tale and  how the unassuming hero determines his true love in every chick flick. 

I should have kissed her. 

With this one thought in mind, I pulled out a pencil and a notebook and started writing.