If I Can't Have You || (N.M.)

Chapter 17

My eyes were shut tight with fear. No part of me wanted to see the end I felt was coming. I was sure that it all was over for me.

Then the lights came on.

"Yo, what the fuck is going on?!"

I heard Nate's voice.

I opened my eyes to see him moving swiftly toward me and my attacker, whom I still hadn't looked toward. I turned my head upwards to see not Calvin, but the man with the daughter who had sat across from me at lunch earlier. He let go of me as he saw the fury in Nate's eyes and I dropped back to the ground.

"I was just helping her up man, I swear," he pleaded with both of his hands up to prove that he'd meant no harm.

Everyone downstairs must have heard the ruckus as Janet, Ed, and Hodge all stood at the top of the staircase, trying to see what was going on.

Hell, so was I.

"Bullshit," Nate spat as he helped me to my feet and dusted me off. "Why would you just be in here? In the dark?"

"Because it's a quiet place to think." He looked around at all the faces that were staring at him. "I really didn't mean to scare anyone."

At that moment, I started to feel like an idiot.

"I believe him Nate," I said, shaking my head at myself. "I'm just a little..."

"Paranoid?" Nate finished for me, quiet enough so that only I could here.

I nodded my head and looked toward the ground.

Nate sighed then pulled me into a tight embrace, keeping me secure as I still shook from the fright.

"Sorry about that everyone," he apologized to all who were standing around. "You guys can go back to what you were doing now. You too, uh..."

"Michael."

And with that, everyone silently retreated back to the downstairs area, including Michael.

That left Nate and I by ourselves in the lit up church, holding on to each other and not saying a word.

Finally, he spoke.

"You know, if you're afraid we don't have to go through with plan. We can figure out another way that doesn't put you in d –"

"No," I stopped him right there. "We have to do it."

Yeah, the little misunderstanding put me on edge after I'd had an otherwise comfortable day. But it also served as a reminder; a reminder of how I didn't want to live any longer. I couldn't survive if I thought that every bump or man was someone trying to kill me.

"I'll text Calvin in the morning to set up date," I said firmly. "Then you'll tell West and everyone, and we'll corner him at the meet up spot. I'm not nervous. I really think we can do this."

The part about me not being nervous was lie. There was so much room for error. What if Calvin was spying on us and already knew the plan? What if West and his gang couldn't pull through? What if Calvin hurt me?

But I couldn't let Nate know all the questions that were running through my mind. If I expressed all my doubts to him, he surly wouldn't let me go through with it, and that's not what I wanted. I wanted to fight, not keep cowering.

Nate looked at me intently. Just minutes ago he had told me how he had faith in West, but I wondered if he still had any of the same thoughts as me.

If he did he didn't show it.

"Alright," he said.

He kissed me on the forehead then took my hand.

"Let's grab Mir and go to bed."

-

Short chapter, but I just wanted to update this before I went to bed... It's 11 a.m. and I haven't slept yet lol. Can I wake up to some vote/comments or nah? 🤔