Nerd.

T H I R T Y - O N E .

-Justin-

"I am so proud of you Justin," my mom said, squeezing me hard into a hug. I can't help but smile wide and hug her back.

"Thanks mom," I say.

"Your father would of been so proud too," she says with a soft voice. Oh, please don't do this here, mom. I put a small smile on my face for her.

My mom hardly ever mentions my dad, but when she does, it's for heart felt moments like these. Dad passed away when I was nine. I was young, only a kid, but I remember him always laying down because he was to tired and sick to get up or even sit up. So instead of going outside to play catch or something like a normal father-son relationship, we would sing together. It was one of the few things that would put a smile on his face. He loved it which made me love it.

After he passed away, the house went silent except for one thing. My mothers sobs.

About a year passed when I decided that just sitting around and being depressed wasn't going to bring my father back. Nothing was. But the closest thing to feeling him with me was to sing.

Talking about my dad's death takes me back to a dark place, so I just don't talk about it. It's something I prefer to keep to myself and shield off from others. I know it's not the best way to deal with it, but its the only way I know how.

I looked over at my mom again. "Thanks Mom. You know I couldn't have done it with you, right?"

She smiles softly and kisses my cheek. The urge of telling her what happen to me a few minutes ago hits me again, but so does the nerves of what her thoughts may be on it.

"Mom, what if i told you I wanted to become a singer?" I asked her.

"Uh--well--That takes a lot of hard work, Justin. You need to write songs, find a label that will sign you, and have the courage to get on a stage in front of thousands of people," she responded.

Well I have two of these things completed. The only thing I need is courage. I've never preformed in front of a lot of people. But who knows, maybe I do have courage to at least do that.

"I already write songs and.. you're not gonna believe it, but I got offered a contract to a record label," I say.

She stayed quiet for a moment, studying my face to see if i was serious. "You're not planning on really signing it, are you?" she finally asked.

Uh, okay. I expected a better reaction than this..

"Are you... not happy for me?" I asked with a frown on my face.

"Of course I am, Justin! But what about school? You worked so hard for that scholar ship. Your father would of wanted you to go to the same school as him. And you're willing to throw that away to have a possible singing career? What if you fail?"

"Gee Mom thanks for the support," I say, feeling hurt.

"Sweetie, I am not trying to hurt you, this is just real life and you are at the point in your life where you need to make realistic choices. And you already made your choice, you enrolled in school and accepted a huge scholarship. You can't just drop those things like nothing."

Opportunities come and go, but both these opportunities feel like they can go and never come back...ever. 

"I just-- It would be amazing if I could sing for a living."

"I know. And with a voice like yours, the world would love you, but again, lets be realistic and take note on just how slim the chances are for a person who wants to pursue a career in entertainment is."

The truth hurts, but the turn is the truth.

"You're right," I nod. "I-um--I'm gonna go look for Alex." I say, and before she could say anything else, I walked off.

"Justin," a voice calls. A familiar one that always made my heart melt. I stop and turn to her direction. "Hey, where are you going?" Alex asked.

"Looking for you," I say, planting a kiss on her soft lips.

"So have you thought about the record deal?" She asks, a small smile on her lips.

I nod. "I don't think I'm going to sign it."