I don't know everything.
And that makes me fear.
Fear losing you somehow, fear drifting away.
Its hard for me to say that, even to myself.
It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel small, like I have no control over anything, let alone myself or my own thoughts.
I'm trying so very hard now, to fix myself, to make myself better.
So that our friendship will become better too.
Not like before.
You remember those times, don't you?
I relive them sometimes, and they get stuck in my head.
Sometimes they make me feel like you're still angry now, like you were then.
You aren't.
But I still fear.
Fear hurting you,
Fear losing you.
You called me "your soulmate"
In a platonic sense of course.
When you say that.. I feel blessed.
But I also feel unworthy.
You deserve so much better than me.
But still, you love me and care about me.
And for that, I will become better.
Better than I used to be.
YOU ARE READING
Total Eclipse Of My Sanity
Non-FictionMy thoughts and tribulations. Usually not straight forward in openly expressing how I feel towards direct situations, but more of a way of venting/expressing some pent up emotion safely and calmly, in a creative and somewhat poetic way. Maybe some o...
