Total Eclipse Of My Sanity

Change is Not to be Feared

If you love her so much, why don't you move with her?
If you're so scared of being alone, why are you moving out?
Because if I let myself follow her,
if I let myself live with other people,
no matter how much I love them,
I won't be truly happy.
I have always lived for others,
planning my day around spending time with them
I'm terrified to be alone,
Because I never learned that I'm not truly alone,
If I live alone,
it is not an isolation from the world,
If I live two hours away from one of my closest friends,
it is not because I don't value her friendship, or the time spent with her,
I have always been willing to drop everything for the ones I love,
Even if it ends up tearing me apart inside,
This has left me dependent on others for my happiness,
It has left me scared of my own singular shadow,
It is okay to be nervous of change,
It is never okay to be terrified of it,
If I do not do this for myself,
If I give into that fear and dependency,
I will never be free to do what I truly want to in life,
Even if it takes me far away from those I love,
And that is a terrible life to live,
Trapped within my own mind,
The cage door wide open,
but being too afraid to leave what I know,
To even see if there is something better,
Even if its not what I find familiar right now,
It scares me,
but what's outside isn't scary,
There were always people out there,
Waiting for me,
Waiting for me to come out and see them,
Even when it was hard,
They could always see me,
But I couldn't see them,
I want to see them,
I want to see the world outside of my cage,
I want to be free from this fear,
I want to be at home within myself