[SHYAN] skeptics and true believers

ch. 4

Ryan was probably going crazy-- at the very least, he felt crazy. That he was actually giving credence to the idea that his crush was a werewolf made him feel fucking insane.

But it made sense. All of the strange occurrences that seemed to follow Shane pointed to werewolf. The theory, despite its initial lunacy, gradually gained credibility in Ryan's mind.

He decided to start paying closer attention.

--

Ryan was the first to sit down at his lunch table, but was quickly joined by Shane, who slid into the seat across from him. Ryan mumbled hello before laying his head down on the table; the late night research was beginning to catch up to him.

Shane had no problem hearing his quiet greeting over the loud chatter of the high school cafeteria and tilted his head quizzically at Ryan.

"What's wrong, Ryan?" He asked, peering down at Ryan in concern, "Did the ghosts keep you up?" If it had been from anyone else, the attempt at humor would have failed to make him laugh-- but it was Shane, and Ryan couldn't help but crack a small smile.

Even the thought that he might be a werewolf couldn't make me like him less, Ryan thought as he looked affectionately at Shane.

"Just couldn't sleep last night," Ryan said, neglecting to add 'because I was doing research to determine whether or not you're a werewolf'. He wanted desperately to look Shane in the eyes be honest, tell him that all the weird shit that's been happening lately has led Ryan to come up with unhinged theories.

The stupid werewolf theory wasn't the only thing Ryan wanted to blurt out to Shane; Ryan wanted to confess the feelings that swirled around in his head, the feelings made him feel dizzy with happiness whenever Shane was with him. He wanted to look Shane straight in his eyes and tell him that he had fallen for him, hard.

Ryan would do neither. He was a coward in every sense of the word; he was scared of ghosts, wolves, the ramifications of speaking his feelings aloud. Staring at Shane right now, Ryan wished he could simply take a deep breath and release his anxiety, exhale and finally be able to face his fears for once in his fucking life.

He couldn't. He wouldn't.

With a sigh, Ryan came back to the conversation. Shane was looking at him with a worried expression.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Shane leaned forward, and Ryan was struck with a sudden and inexplicable to close the gap between them and kiss him; he stayed still, but longed to know what those lips would feel like against his own.

"I'm great," Ryan replied, ready to shift the focus off of himself, "Where's everyone else?". He sat up and looked around the cafeteria.

Shane glanced around as well. "Safiya's over there," He gestured to across the lunch room, where Saf and Freddie were talking with each other, then turned towards the entrance of the cafeteria, "Brent's about to walk in with Steven." Sure enough, Brent and Steven rounded the corner a few moments later.

"How did you know that?" Ryan asked, staring at Shane in disbelief. Shane turned back around and shrugged indifferently.

"I've got good hearing, and Steven talks pretty loud." Shane said candidly, giving Ryan a wide smile, "Seriously, that's the most enthusiastic guy I've ever met."

Ryan wanted to say one thousand things in that moment, from 'It's literally impossible for a normal human to hear someone talking from that far away in a room as loud as this' to telling Shane 'Please stop doing things that play into my dumb conspiracies'. Ryan almost opened his mouth to say something, but Brent and Steven sat down and started talking before he mustered up the courage to mention it.