Tale as Old as Time

Chapter 17

The cramping lasted a day before dialling back to regular period style cramping. The bleeding lasted for two weeks all up. In that time Chris went and got another tattoo. A red jelly bean to go with the green one. I wondered how many jelly beans he'd end up scattered over his pec.

When the bleeding stopped we tried to just move on with our life. He'd taken the rest of the year off from film making. In fact, until he started filming the next Captain America movie, he didn't have anything major on his plate at all.

We did a lot of talking. We decided that I should go back on my birth control and speak regularly to my therapist until I felt comfortable with a decision about whether I wanted to pursue getting pregnant again or if I would never handle that well because of our history and we tried a path like adoption or surrogacy. Until then we were going to actively enjoy being child free. We were going to enjoy us and not just count down the days until we changed it.

That's what we said anyway. What happened was Chris stopped coming home. He kept finding excuses to be in LA. Or he'd go agree to do press or appear at conventions. If I could go, he seemed okay with it. I didn't feel barely tolerated. Mostly I couldn't go though because I had commitments here in Boston. I had work I needed doing. I was left home alone a lot. He wasn't even here for our wedding anniversary. He send me flowers and a little hand made wolf for the whole cotton second year thing. We skyped and it got dirty but he was away and there was no reason why he should have been. His excuse was work but he couldn't even tell me what exactly the work was.

Then to make matters worse when he was back he kept going over to his mum's place and not coming home. I started to think he wasn't doing any of the things he said. That he was cheating on me. It felt ridiculous given that I'd offered to have our relationship open. So if he was it wasn't about sex, it had to be about something else. Something he wasn't getting from me. Which meant we were over after all.

I was at home in my pyjamas when it finally came to a head. My phone rang and I saw it was him. I knew what he was going to say even before I hit accept.

"Hey sweetheart. I spent the day helping ma paint the front porch. Then some guys came round and I drank a bit. So I'm gonna stay over. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" He said.

"Chris..." I said, my voice coming out like a croak.

"What's up, buttercup?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. Don't worry."

"Alright. Sweet dreams, babe." He said.

I hung up the phone and walked out to my car. I didn't even put on shoes. I drove the half hour it took to get to Lisa's place on automatic. When I got there I knocked on the door and Lisa answered.

"Emily. What's the matter? Has something happened?" Lisa asked.

"Is Chris here?" I asked, ignoring her.

"Just in the living room."

I walked inside and saw him sitting by himself with a beer watching TV. He looked up and smiled. "Hey, Em. Whatcha doing here, babe? You miss me?"

"Good. Good." I said, blankly and turned around and walked back out of the house.

He wasn't cheating on me at least. I guess that was something.

He jogged up behind me as I was walking back to my car and grabbed me by the elbow. "Em. What's wrong?"

I turned and looked at him furrowing my brow. "You never come home any more. I thought you were cheating on me. I guess you're not. But I dunno. I don't feel relieved at all."

Chris sighed and ran his hand down the back of his head. "Fuck. I'm so sorry, Em. It's not you. It's the house. We bought it to raise kids in. Then since we've been living there we lost two babies and it's where East died. Whenever I'm there I just feel like shit."