This sucks,
My heart hurts,
No sleep makes my anxiety go on overload,
Making me think, rethink everything and then think again,
I want to cry but I'm not even sure what for anymore,
I'm in so much pain yet numb at the same time,
I value sleep so much,
It helps me block out those feelings I don't like,
It stops the hollow numbness that calls me,
It beckons my name like a warm hug or a strong drink,
I fought so hard to get the good feelings to come out of me,
After being buried deep down inside of me for so long,
I can't become the nothingness I was before,
But sometimes it seems easier to be that numb person,
Less heartache, less caring,
Less of who I am,
When I'm that numb person I care for no one and nothing,
And I refuse to be that again,
So I shove my face in the pillow and suffocate the numbness until I am asleep,
A half hour goes by and I can still feel the numbness creeping through me,
So I suffocate it again and again,
Until I see the sun peeking through the blinds,
Letting me know I have lived through another night,
Ready to live a happy day and ready to fight tonight for another happy day tomorrow,
This sucks!
But I'll keep fighting.
