secret admirer; sm/cc

one

Camila

i watched as shawn walked past me down the hallway. his perfume lingered through the air for a mere second and i sniffed it all the chance that i got as he walked by, he did the occasional running of his fingers through his perfectly messed up dark hair—if that even made sense. he laughed, showing off his beautiful smile and the way his eyes crinkled when he did so. Shawn was definetely the definition of perfect and as creepy as it sounds, i've always had these little butterflies at the pit of my stomach whenever i could catch a glimpse of him.

oh damn who am i kidding? he'd never notice me. i mean, he's one of the school's highly respected students, one of the most popular kids alongside his squad of equally attractive dudes and here i was, just another one of those girls who practically gawked over the sight of him. pretty sure i'm number 184th in line of all the girls dying to just even talk to him.

i remember the first day i saw him; freshman year opening day. we all gathered in our school's soccer field for the welcoming ceremony. i stood six people behind him and he was one of the tallest dudes so the chances of seeing him were high.

And the sadest part was, my bestfriend Jacey likes him too. Pretty sure she's only in it for his looks and popularity. Jacey has been in a number of relationships all throughout the course of highschool—we're in senior year now by the way. And none of those relationships lasted for even a month or two. The longest was probably for two weeks.

It's honestly no doubt why she's had so many boyfriends. She's very attractive, confident and charming. If I were a guy, i'd probably date her too. Sadly, she lacks the attitude, she chooses who she wants to be mean or nice to and in my case, she chooses to be nice to me. I actually do like to hangout with her, i'd never get bored and she always talks to me about her life and what happens and I find her very interesting.

"oh my god mila were you even listening to me?" She laughed, waving a hand infront of my face. I blinked, embarrassed that she called out my name rather too loudly and now everyone near us were looking at me. Even shawn was looking at me.

"Sorry, i zoned out." I cleared my throat, shifting uncomfortably in my seat as she continued to laugh. "It's okay honey." She smiled and I smiled back.

"What were you saying?" I asked, suddenly feeling the urge to go home. It still hasn't sinked into me that i'm hanging out with Jacey and Jacey hangs out with the populars so technically, I hangout with them and I just can't seem to act normal whenever I'm with them. I feel like I don't belong even though they had warmly welcomed me before.

"You know shawn right?" She asked and I felt my heart sink down to my but. I knew very well where this conversation was going. "course I do, you hangout with him." I said plainly attempting to sound interested in what she was trying to say.

"Oh right." She chuckled as she chewed on her strawberry bubblegum. "Anyway, so you know I have a crush on him right? like a very huge crush on him?" I nodded, trying to fight the jealousy and the anger building up inside me. "I want you to help me make him like me like what should I do? I know you're an expert at this." She said, taking both of my hands and intertwining our fingers together.

I glanced at shawn, he was talking and laughing along with his friends and I wished he liked me back. I sighed, turning back to Jacey. "Alright, i'll help you." I said and she squealed and pulled me in for a hug. "Yay! Thanks, mila." She said and that's how i ended up, trying to push my feelings away for the boy i've liked ever since i saw him for my bestfriend.

I actually write Shawn letters, I secretly put them in his lockers. Guess that makes me his secret admirer then, huh? I don't even know if he reads them, he probably just throws them away and get's annoyed whenever he sees another piece of paper in his locker every single day. I guess right now, I'll write them for Jacey—my feelings but in behalf of Jacey. It sucks.