Papillion's Riddle

To Depart

I'd always known today would be the hardest day of my life. Even before I knew Mala's fate it was obvious it would be painful. But even my worst nightmares did not even begin to portray the how awful it had been.

Outside the muffled noises of celebration disrupted the silence of this room of books. I wanted to drown it out altogether, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely shut off the real world, at least for now. So instead I focused my attention on sifting through the thousands of books in front of me. I drifted listlessly, finding nothing of use.

"Why would a young woman such as yourself be hiding away down here?" Mae appeared from nowhere, bringing me out of my secluded world of my own.

"Why are you here?" I growled, on edge.

"I asked you the same question," she said, "only in politer terms," she smiled shrewdly.

"I feel more like mourning than celebrating," I admitted, examining the books on the shelf beside me.

I expected her to start on her normal speech, explaining that losing everything could only be good thing. But instead she sat beside me, her legs folded and her arm balanced over my shoulders. "I know how hard this is for you, Poppy. I am not going to pretend that you'll see this loss as a good thing. I'm sorry for what happened today with Mala. I'm sorry for giving you such false hope. I didn't expect Lien to stop you like that. You must want to kill him," she laughed in good humour. I was surprised by her empathy. "But if you purely wanted to mourn, you would do so in a sacred place. I know how you hated to study in the place. You complained that it was stuffy and dark.  Instead you come to prepare, I suppose."

I knew she was talking about preparing for my journey. "No, there's nothing to prepare for. My search could end at any end of this earth," I frowned at my feet.

"Perhaps I can help you," she smiled, and she began to search the isles in the Library. She seemed to float between the shelves, running the tips of her fingers across the spines of many books. Finally she paused, extracting a leather-bound navy blue book with no indication to its contents on the cover. She handed it to me. "Try the third section," she instructed, before leaving me alone again in the room.

Wasting no time, I flipped to the third section. An extravagantly decorated page informed me when I found it. I began to read the scribbled text:

Midsummer

The sun is hotter than I could have ever imagined. Everything I brought with me has long since run out or been stolen. Deformed savages attack me with every step of the journey. They were convinced I wouldn’t die out here, but then they must have been wrong, because I can’t last another day. Every day I leave a little more of my energy behind, energy I thought I’d lost back at the beginning. It’s been days since I last saw water. I considered staying there until the summer dwindled, but then the marauders came. They took everything, leaving me with only a skin of water, which is evaporating faster than I can drink it. I cannot bear the thought of dying out here forgotten and out of everyone’s mind.

I shake myself out of the world the diary described. I want to put the book down, to forget about the tortured character struggling for survival. But rather than replacing it, I move down to the next entry.

Midsummer

Today I came across another one of these pools. The water is foul smelling and is an odd colour. Normally I would have stayed well clear, but I could not take another step without a mouthful of water. I wanted to only take what I needed, but my body was so parched I could not stop. It tasted as bad as it smelt, and burnt its way down my throat and sat in an acidic pool in the pit of my stomach. It was a struggle to keep it down.