I Hate Fate

Chapter 24, Everything (Theo)

Chapter first published-June 29th, 2017

Chapter 24, Everything

"The scar, I can't reverse. When the more it heals, the worse it hurts." -MIIA, Dynasty

Theo

How the hell does Daryl know? Why the hell would he say anything about it in the first place? No one but my parents and Mia's parents was supposed to know.

"Theo, whatever it is it can't be that bad."

"Mia! You don't understand. None of you do." I went into my contacts on my phone and started texting Daryl.

Theo: Who the hell told you????

Daryl: About what??

Theo: About what I did 2 years ago. Who told you???

Daryl: I saw it, Theo. I saw your arms. I put that together with when you went away for two weeks.

Theo: You didn't have to tell them anything about it though.

"Theo, you can tell us anything. You trust us and we trust you," Dakota says sitting down at the end of the bed.

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's something I don't like talking about," I say sighing.

"Something you never want to talk about. If you can't talk about it, why don't you show us?" Oliver says making us shake our heads in agreement.

"How do you guys look at me now?" I asked looking at them.

"Our friend who understands us and our problems," Mia says for everyone.

"You see me as damaged, I know that. If I tell you, if I even show you, you'll see me as more than damaged."

"Nothing-"

I cut Brent off, "Everything. Every little detail, every little action or step I take, you'll watch carefully. Just to see if something's wrong. Isn't that what you've been doing since you found out I'm depressed?" None of them denied what I said. I was right, they've been watching, and I've noticed.

"We just want to make sure you're okay," Dakota said.

"The doctor asked if the car crash was a suicide attempt. If I purposely tried harming you, Oliver, just to end my own life. I obviously said no. But I got mad at him." There were tears in my eyes from talking and thinking about it.

"Why would he ask that if he knew you had depression?" Brent asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked bitterly leaning back into the pillows. I roll up my sleeves and show them. "I've tried to take my own life before. Twice."

"Oh, Theo," Mia gasped lightly reaching her hand out. I rolled my sleeves back down.

"Isn't that what you wanted to know? I covered it in makeup to hide it from you guys. I was ashamed, scared! I didn't know what to do." I cried.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay." Dakota comforted me. They all comforted me by saying things like 'it's okay' and 'it's alright.' They all hugged me, and for the first time in forever, it felt okay to cry.

"Why did you do it, Theo?" Oliver asked wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I was fourteen, everything was spiraling into shit town. My mom was about to get married to a bastard, my dad left for a year business trip and never bothered to call or check up on me, that summer Landon and I never spoke to each other 'cause we got in a huge fight and the worse part of that whole fucking year was leaving Florida and making you guys sad and mad. Then other shit happened and I didn't want to be here anymore, I didn't care, I didn't feel anything anymore." For the rest of the time, we talked and hung out. It was nice, we made jokes and talked about the most random of things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Really? I knew he was dumb but not that dumb."

"Are you kidding me? You should've seen how Haley reacted!"

"And Lynn was probably talking everyone's ear off about it!"

"She was!" We both laughed.

"Hey, thanks for bringing me actual food Landon," I say smiling. I had explained what happened with everyone else to him and he comforted me about it. He is the best boyfriend ever.

"No worries. Besides if you eat any more of the hospital food, I'm sure you would've died by that."

"True," I say sarcastically.

"Hey, I have something to tell you. It's about Claire."

"What is it?" I ask looking at him concerned.

"Claire and I have actually met before."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we actually dated. It only lasted a summer though. She and her family were on vacation in Austrailia and we met in Barry's Cafe. Don't worry about it, we're completely over," Landon says confidently.

"I'm glad you were honest enough to tell me. Though, I'm not one to turn into a jealous girlfriend or something like that."

"Yeah, Claire and I saw each other in the hallways a few times in hospital of course. She was actually comforting because I was really worried about you."

"That's so sweet Landon," I say swooning.

"Yeah, Claire didn't wanna say anything about it. She wanted to keep it between me and her, but I felt the need to tell you," He says holding my hand, rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of my hand. It felt comforting.

"I'm glad you told me, otherwise I would've thought you were cheating on me," I laugh lightly.

"Never. I have to go now though, my aunt's expecting me for dinner. When do you get out by the way?"

"In two more days, I'll be free from prison number two," I smile.

"Prison two?"

"Yeah, 'cause prison number one is school obviously."

"Only you would think that way of school," He chuckled.

"Tell that to the other million kids who think that way. Bye!" I kiss his cheek goodbye and lay back down in the bed.

Just two more days. Dad probably doesn't know this happened. He's probably too busy to actually pick up the phone. My phone started ringing, I picked up the call without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hi, sweetie are you okay?" A feminine voice asked. "It's mom."

I sat back up, "Mom?"

"Yeah, I got a call maybe two days ago saying you got into an accident. I wanna know how you're doing."

"I'm doing good mom, isn't it in the morning over in Sydney?"

"It is. I would've called sooner but I've been busy with the restaurant. I now own it, so lots of responsibilities," I could hear the excitement from her voice.

"Really? I'm proud of you mom."

"Thank you, sweetie. Your friends over here actually help out sometimes, it's nice to have them around. They miss you," Her voice was sincere. Over the past two years, she's really stepped up.

"Tell them I miss them too. It won't be long 'till summer though, so I'll be seeing you soon in about a month or two."

"Anyways, I hear that Landon's been over there for a month or so. What's that like?" I can practically see the smile on her face. I sat up smiling and for the rest of the next hour we chatted about what was going on in both of our lives.

It was times like these which I cherished.