Answers.

She was here for me when I wasn't there for her.

i don't know why she did it. but she did it and that's what matters. she saved my life when she didn't need to. i wish i knew why she did it, but i don't. maybe it was a good thing. maybe it was always meant to happen this way. maybe this is how i'm paying. i wasn't there for her when she needed me. so now i'm tormented because i can't ask her why she saved my life. i saw her once after it happened. i asked her why she did it, but she wouldn't give me an answer she said i didn't need to know. maybe that's her way of getting back at me for not being there for her. but i'm just tormenting myself asking all these questions. questions that i may never get answers. so instead i'll try telling you what happened instead. maybe by writing it down will help me answer the questions i have. maybe i'll figure out why it happened and why she saved me,but first you need a back ground on me. when i was little 12 or 13 i thought like i was sixteen. girls pretty much took up my thoughts and i got into things i probably shouldn't have. none really bad though just 12 year old trouble. as i grew older i started getting into the really heavy stuff, she was there through it all. i didn't really appreciate her then. she never judged me and all ways accepted me for me. that was something i craved yet i still forgot her. in the back of my mind i tried to impress the people around me. i didn't realize it though. so as people grew up i did more and more things to get their attention not all good things good. in high school she left for a month and i never saw her again. she just disappeared. and i never even missed her i accepted it without even blinking. i never found out what happened to her till much much later. after that my life turned upside down and things got bad. that was the year my parents got divorced. so i rebelled. i got into drugs and partying and i chased girls. i didn't eve now most of their names. i used them all. i guess i was searching for something i was missing. the acceptance and comfort others can give. the problem was i was searching in the wrong places. in hind sight i was searching for everything she gave me. after high school i went to college and things didn't get much better. i lived the college dream. girls partying and very little study time. i thought everything would get handed to me. i was sadly mistaken. after college i applied to a bunch of companies, but none of them would hire me. so i tried europe. nothing changed over there either. that is were my story begins.

i was asleep in bed for once alone. when it happened, when i got kidnapped. it was one of those things you think will never happen to you, but it happened to me. i woke up suddenly and couldn't figure out why i had woken up. since it was around 1 in the morning. when i heard a sound. it was just a tiny sound and i thought it must be a mouse or something. so i lied down again ready to fall asleep again. that's when i heard it again just a whisper of sound. but there was just something off about it. so i decided to check it out. i got up and grabbed the baseball bat in my closet and walked quietly out my bedroom door. when i got to the end of the hall, i heard someone whispering. i thought it might be one of the women who frequented my bed. i hadn't called any of them so i thought to put her in her place. i should've been more cautious maybe that would have save me from my fate. then maybe i wouldn't have been kidnapped. then again i wouldn't have realized what i had lost. it would have saved me a lot of trouble and heartache, but in the end i don't think i would have given it up. because if i hadn't been kidnapped then i would have never known what happened to her. and i would have never have talked to her again. i might have gone through life feeling empty and alone. Alfred Lord Tennyson said,"tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." i don't know if he was right or not. but because i wasn't cautious going around that corner i found what i was missing. i don't know what happened right after i turned the corner. i woke up a couple days after i they hit me over the head.