Midnight Rose (completed)

Chapter 2

Memories of the eighth grade, when my world first came crashing down, rushed me. A young heart shattered to pieces and confidence stripped. I knew what was coming. It was familiar and painful, and its wrath would be quick and merciless.

An anxiety attack.

I quickly turned the shower on, before the sadness consumed me, and curled into a fetal position on the shower floor, hot water dissolving my tears while my chest heaved wildly, the breaths hard to catch in between. Horror at what tomorrow would bring filled my head with gut-wrenching clarity. I would be invisible to him, proving an ordinary girl could never be good enough for someone so extraordinary. It was something I had always feared. My feelings would remain unrequited. 

Kendra stayed with me, reminding me when it was time to eat, something I had barely done all weekend. She even sat in absolute silence with me as we watched the growing storm outside. The storm I would face tomorrow would be worse. Maybe Mrs. Know-It-All was right. Maybe I was fragile.

                                       ***

Doomsday morning had arrived too quickly, my routine being my only saving grace, eating my usual cereal while my mom hummed over a cup of coffee. She was knitting, but also watching me carefully. Her eyes followed me everywhere around the kitchen.

"I was worried I would have to drag you to school," she spoke carefully.

"I'm not in kindergarten." A surprisingly unpleasant tone inflicted my words. The hurt registered on her face immediately, flushing my cheeks with regret. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I knew what she was thinking. That I was sinking again. I wondered the same thing, but wasn't I stronger now? Hadn't I grown in two years? My dark days had nearly broken our family last time. My parents were so worried about me and couldn't agree on how to proceed, creating a tumultuous atmosphere around the house. My dad had finally accepted work out of the country to escape it, leaving my mom to try to drag the broken pieces of me back together.  Now I felt worse for snapping at her. I took a bite of cereal, apologizing silently.

"Do you want me to drive you to school today?"

"Kendra's probably already waiting for me." I caught her disappointment. "Thank you, though."  I stood up and put my bowl into the sink, having only taken one bite, still absent of an appetite, and headed out the door with my book bag.

Kendra and I started walking to school sophomore year, saving us from unnecessary embarrassment. Neither one of us wanted to show up with our parents. It would prompt all the questions about why I didn't drive yet, and while Kendra had a valid reason, I didn't. At least not any I was willing to share. I could lie and say I didn't have my license yet, but then there would be more questions. Why not? Did you fail the test? Awkward conversations from nosy peers. No thanks. So instead, we would walk through the parking lot as if we had driven.

I met Kendra at the bottom of my driveway. We were off to start our junior year at Sandpoint High where our class was only 159 students strong. One hundred sixty now that Wes was back. The senior class growing by two, courtesy of the Hunter twins.

"Do you like?" My naturally beautiful friend waved her hands across her new outfit from our failed shopping trip. Well, my failed shopping trip. She did quite well from what I could see.

"It looks great on you. Orange is definitely your color, and the dress hugs your best features," I said as cheerfully as possible to show my support.

I, on the other hand, wore a plain black V-neck and jeans. I was never much of a fashionista, and luckily, it didn't bother my friend. My goals today were simple—go unnoticed and don't faint.