I never thought that the day I wen to see Jaime in the hospital i'd fall in love with her. I never thought that i'd ever fall in love for the matter. I didn't want to, I never wanted be hurt or give hurt. But she changed that, she changed a lot about my life.I could open up to her, and that was a new thing for me. I never used to be able to open up to anyone in my life. I don't man, there is just something about this girl, she gets me going.
When I went to the hospital to see her, after the crash had happened. She was so pale, so sick looking. I almost cried, but I held back. And kept thinking "be a big man, don't let her see you cry, be happy, she's alive isn't she!" Repeating that over and over again in my head. It worked, but I wanted to cry, i wanted to cry and embrace her with all the love that i could give her. And some-days I wish that i had done that at that moment, instead of waiting.
It was such a sad sight. Her black hair clung to her face due to sweat, she was pale and clammy. It reminded me of a movie, when someone is at the hospital sick and you see their friends/family there. And the person is just lying there, you're expecting them to wake up, move, do something anything! But they don't, so you wait even longing, hoping even more. That didn't happen to me, I walked in and looked at her for only a moment, she was awake. She coul'dnt sleep. She was surprised i was there, she wan't expecting anyone. She said that I had her day, that brought a smile to my face.
I remember the day that she moved in with me, right in my room. I was so excited, finally had someone to share my huge ass room with. Someone to be with, I didn't feel alone anymore. I felt as though I had finally had someone to be true, to be real with. I wouldn't have to hide my feelings for her. And I loved that feeling.
No matter what happened between us, nothing separated us. For those first few months that she was living with me, she didn't leave mt sight. Mostly because I didn't want her to, I wanted her by my side at all times. I was worried for her,I didn't want her to get hurt. I cared about her, maybe a little to much even. But one the less, I cared. And I don't know if i would have been able to deal with it if she got her. She was my everything. She was my life, and i wanted her all of her.
But I took to long to take her. School started back up again and someone snatched her up, right from under me. No warning, no anything. She wasn't mine anymore, and i barely got to see her anymore. She was never at the house, she was anyways with him. And it killed me inside knowing that I wasn't the one: holding her when she was scared, hugging her when she cried, chasing after her then tickling her. I miss all that, all the stupid shit that i used to love doing. It wasn't there anymore, and I missed it more than anything.
So after that, I went back to feeling alone. Just like before she moved it. And I hated it, more than anything else in this life. I has gotten so used to being with her. So being without her was just pure torture. Every second, every minute, i hated it. But Jaime on the other hand, didn't even notice. She just went along with her life like nothing ever happened between us. Like there was no connection between us over the summer.
