The Five Dollar Mail Book 3: The Road Home

47: When Dreams Go

Cover painting by Angela Taratuta. All graphics by me.  Here's another great  chapter portrait by Laura Hollingsworth. It's amazing. The movement in this one just takes my breath. Love this! 

Book 1: The Green, Book 2: Lynch's Boys, Book 3: The Road Home, and the Riders & Kickers Anthology are available on Amazon under the name Regina Shelley. So if you hate waiting for chapter posts and/or want a more polished read, the finished product is available now.

Still Water Woman sat quietly in her lodge, listening to the rough cadence of the language Two Elk, Jesse and Jesse's friend, Hellbender, spoke to one another. She had scooped a bowl of meat from the cooking skin, placed it in a bowl, and handed it to the brown-haired stranger with the numb detachment of a sleepwalker. She couldn't concentrate, and everything inside the lodge seemed to be happening through a thick fog. She could think about one thing and one thing only: that he might be leaving. That Jesse would go away with this stranger, this crazy man who had walked straight into their village with his hands up and no weapons. And she simply was not prepared to return to the dark and cold. Two Elk's eyes were on her. He knew what she was thinking. There is no hiding from Two Elk.

She never should have spent the night lying next to Jesse, their arms around each other. That was reckless. Foolish. She knew it had been a mistake. But for a while, it was the deepest, most peaceful sleep she'd had in a very long time.

She looked at the beautiful young man on the other side of the lodge, how her sister clung to him even now, staying beside him as he talked to his friend. The glow from the fire flickered softly across his face, streaked his yellow hair with sunset hues, and suddenly she had to look away. Had to stop thinking about how natural he looked sitting there, how warm her lodge was with his presence.

She had woken up before dawn last night, feeling a chill. He had shifted, gently grasping her hand and intertwining it with his. Her head had rested on his chest, listening the comforting drum of his heart and the rocking of his breath, and his fingers had tangled in her hair, cradling her head. The memory of him sent a sharp pang through her. Her hand had been lying on the taut hollow of his belly and she hadn't dared to move it. Had he been awake? Does he know how close we lay, how intimately I was touching him? Did I wake him when I moved in my sleep? She had frozen, not knowing if he was awake, and not wanting to wake him if he still slept. His skin had been so hot beneath her cheek, and she thought back to how she'd been so acutely aware of every breath he took, every pulse and heartbeat against her body.

She remembered how heat had pooled in her belly, quickening her heart, and how she had desperately tried to ignore the feel of his thigh between hers, the ripple of muscle beneath her palm, the heady male scent of his skin. He had been too close, too warm. Too real. And there was no way he hadn't felt her heart galloping like a horse across the plains.

She had silently begged him to not wake up. His breathing had changed, quickened beneath her cheek, and it was maddening not knowing. Not knowing if he had lain unaware of what his presence was doing to her...or worse, not knowing if he was, just as she was, unable to sleep because his body was on fire.

The idea was not making things easier.

Her mouth had gone dry, and she attempted once more to turn her attention back to the present. He is leaving, she told herself. His friend has come to get him, and he will go back to his family. To his life. I will not see him again. She took in a deep breath, trying to anchor herself to this reality. Her eyes began to burn and she squeezed them shut, refusing to let herself weep. I have wept enough. And I knew this day would come. Better now for him to leave than later.

Two Elk gave her a gentle look, his eyes crinkling knowingly. The man called Bender had an unhappy look on his face, and rubbed the fawn-colored stubble marring his chin and cheeks. He shook his head, sighing heavily. Jesse was animated, holding his hands up in supplication.

"This man called Bender is not happy," Two Elk said to her in Lakota. "Jesse says he will not leave us until we are safe from these men from the iron road. He says he must stay to read their words, and this man must go tell his sister that he lives."

Still Water Woman felt a trembling start inside her. She shook her head. He has to go. Every day he stays will leave my lodge that much colder when he finally does go. "Two Elk..." she whispered, trailing off. Her words failed her.

Two Elk nodded, the crinkles around his eyes deepening. "He says he can't leave you and Runs Laughing."

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