Tere Liye | ✔

Chapter Two - Rekindling

Sighing in confusion, she sat herself on the bed, still trying to figure out what she was feeling.

She for sure knew sadness was dwelling in her somewhere because her heart pinched every now and then but she didn't feel the overwhelming feeling to shout and cry, like she did the last time he was taken away from her. She didn't feel like robing herself off all the colors in his absence. Instead, she felt like experimenting with all new colors. Colors that would feel like herself and not him.

A smile halfway curved her lips as an amused look resided on her face.

This wasn't grief.

Grief was supposed to make one feel vulnerable and pained. But whatever she was feeling right now, was a sudden urge to explore the freedom she got. To laugh freely, to go places she wants to, to do things she wants to without having to think about how she has to restrict herself just so she could take care of that one person.

But why is that? And how? How can she feel like this when all she thought herself to be without him, was a pile of nothing? How is she still standing uptight when in the past, every single part of her had shattered in his absence?

She stared at the plants from the transparent french door right across her bed, their leaves being teased and ruffled by the mischievous wind.

She smiled.

Maybe all this while she had underestimated herself. Maybe she was so blind in his love that she failed to understand her own self, her own strength. And maybe the devastation she felt in the past was simply due to denial. Somewhere in the depths of her heart she had always questioned the genuineness of Shyam's love because it was a love that made her change from someone carefree to someone docile and almost robotic but she had denied to let this doubt rule her mind for years in the fear that her life would be in shambles if ever he leaves her. But now, as the veil of denial has been lifted, life without him doesn't seem that bad.

It felt like her. Without him around to express his needs, it all felt like her at last. Her life felt hers. Her priorities, her attention all changed, in the best way possible and it almost felt as if, she got her life back. 

Her smile widened as tears finally brimmed in her eyes. Tears of joy, satisfaction, relief, gratitude, and every other wonderful feeling that could exist in this world. Even now she doesn't know what to name the emotion that had engulf her but based on the way it was shaping the course of her life, taking her closer to the Anjali she had lost years, she didn't mind it. At all.

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"I was thinking, it's been so long since we all went out. How about we spend the day out today? Together?"

Anjali's suggestion though brought a smile on everyone's faces across the breakfast table, ignited further surprise in them. Thus, their smiles were almost amused as they looked at an excited Anjali, eagerly waiting for their responses.

This morning when they all had come down, it was with dread. In fact, everyone already had a plan of their own to cajole Anjali into coming down and eat for they all thought she would be in her room, crying her heart out. 

But to their surprise, the same Anjali was already downstairs, setting the breakfast table with her favorite foods alongside the favorites of the rest of the family members, all while humming her favorite tune. They had been scared out of their wits for a hot moment, thinking that she had lost her mind until she literally busted into laughter, guessing their thoughts based on their facial expressions. She had then reassured each one of them that she was fine, more fine than ever and oddly satisfied with her response, everyone felt at relief.