roses in the wintertime ✓

gunsandroses

i always talked about
killing myself
because i knew you
hated it

i thought,
maybe if i keep saying it
he'll eventually care
but what i didn't know
is that
it's because you
wanted to do it
yourself.

i saw you standing in
the same exact spot
you told me
you'd be.

your shoes,
the ones i picked
out for you
on your birthday,
buried themselves in
the dark brown bark

and your hands,
the ones
i never got to hold,
were behind
your back.

my nervous fingers
plucked off the dark green
thorns
because i didn't want to
hurt you

but i'm sorry i mistook the
gun behind your back
for a flower
identical to mine.

but it's okay
because when you shot me
and the dirt
tangled itself
into my midnight hair,
i remembered that

roses were always
my favourite
and
in the moonlight
my blood looked like
the petals

kylie szenski