Reintegration

Reintegration 5

Reintegration

Sephiroth's Point of View

Step 30: Cheer Up

The Turks, Rufus and I are currently in the president's office at Shinra HQ. Rufus is going on about something or other while Blaze pecks his paperwork after Reno set him down on the desk, but I'm not really listening. Maybe it's sleep deprivation, for which I blame Reno, or maybe it's the feeling of being lied to, but I'm feeling very cranky and impatient today.

I turn away and walk, I can faintly distinguish the sound of Rufus' voice in the background, which pauses as I mutter, "not Lazard," reminding myself that the director's brother is not the director, he's not a trusted friend.

"Sephiroth," I think it was Tseng who called me, but I blocked out their voices and kept walking. I walked until I was out of headquarters; only faintly aware that I was being followed, yet knowing it to be true.

xoxox xox xoxox

I kept walking until I reached the Seventh Heaven and sat there. "Welcome, it's unusual to see all of you here at this time," Tifa greets; Tseng, Reno, Rude and Elena are with me.

Cloud seems to be out, a fact for which I'm thankful; I'm not in the mood to see him. "Have you ever felt like you can't trust anyone, that you're living a lie and you can't even trust yourself?"

Before Tifa can reply to my random angst, another voice does, "I have."

I turn slowly, I recognize the voice but do not wish to see him, "I thought you hated me," I glare at Cloud who had arrived just in time to hear me.

Cloud looks apologetic, much to my annoyance, "I don't, I just misunderstood something, thanks for helping Tifa that time. It would have been bad if she got hurt, I should have been there to protect her, if I haven't refused to go, then Tifa wouldn't have been in danger and you wouldn't have gotten injured helping her."

Great, it looks like Tifa and Cloud made up, worse yet, Cloud is sympathizing with me. Things just keep getting worse. I decide that it is best not to dignify him with a response.

He takes my silence as a plea for comfort and continues, "I get really depressed sometimes too and frustrated. But you just have to keep moving forward even if it's hard."

I can't take this anymore, but I manage to remain silent, fighting the urge to rip Cloud's head off with my own hands. "Oh no, not you too," it is Tifa who speaks next. "I don't want anyone moping around here; that goes for both of you, cheer up, you're healthy, you have a nice place to live, you have friends and the world is at peace, look on the bright side!"

I'm not healthy, my mind is haunted by delusions and my body is contaminated with mako, I don't have a nice place to live because Reno is my neighbor, my so called friends lie to me and if this keeps up, the world won't be at peace for much longer.

"I never noticed before, Seph," Tseng comments, breaking the Turk silence, "how much you and Cloud are alike."

I glare at Tseng so intensely, I almost expect him to burst into flames. "We are different."

"Nah, you're both emos," Reno joins in and I can't decide who I want to kill more, Cloud or Reno.

"I am not an emo and I have better hair," I glance at Cloud's sour expression, his hair is white from trying to fix his color so many times only to have Reno sabotage it over and over. It's dull, full of split ends, unlike my hair which is long, shiny and perfect.

Cloud growls at me, then directs his anger at Reno; it would be magnificent if they would kill each other, it would certainly save me a lot of trouble. "You're somehow behind my hair troubles, aren't you?"