Dreams • Short Story

O n e

In a dark room I sit and ponder. A cold metal blade lay peacefully in my hand. I ask myself; Why am I here? What is my purpose?

I stare at my blade, preparing myself. The cold and sharp blade rests upon my wrist. One cut could set me free. Just one.

I slowly look up. My computer lays on my desk just across the dark room. Slowly standing to my feet I trudge my way towards my desk and sit. Blade held tightly in my hand, I lift the computer open. The bright screen illuminates the room. A picture of Jack pops up.

I stare at my blade. Jack wouldn't want this, nor Mark. With no emotion, I set my blade down and turn my attention toward my computer. YouTube shows up on my screen. I smile at the home page. Recommendations of Mark and Jack. I click on Mark's video as my smile widens.

For the first time in a long time I actually laugh. I love this feeling. I want to feel joy like this everyday of every second. This man is like medicine. He cures my depression. Same for Jack. I love them with all my heart and I'd give anything to see them in person. But then I realize that this is the real world and in the real world dreams never come true.

Fanfictions were my life. I'd read them everyday nonstop. Of course they were written about the famous Markiplier and Jacksepticeye. As I read them I sit and think; I wish my life was as great as hers.

I want more than anything to be with the two men that wipe away the frown upon my face. I want them to cure my pain. I want them to hold and to love. I want them so badly.

Tears form in my glossy hazel eyes at the thought of never meeting them. I worship these men. I based my entire life upon them. I bought their shirts to support them. I did everything I could. But I never had enough money for Pax or Vidcon tickets. The only thing that could finally get me to the boys I love so much. 

Mark's deep soothing voice seemed to calm me down. I close my eyes and listen. He then cracks a joke which then makes me laugh. I open my eyes up and switch to Mark's Try not to laugh challenge videos which I've seen a million times and always seem to cheer me up.

After moments of laughter, my eyes begin to tear up from Joy. I try not to be too loud considering that it's only 2 o' clock in the morning. I know you're asking; Why is this girl awake at 2? Well, I can't answer that because I have no idea why. Maybe I'm just not tired? But then again I never feel tired. Could it be insomnia? Large possibility.

Anyway, as I finish off the rest of Mark's video I move onto Jack. I always loved Jack's lets plays. Especially the horror games he played. I was into that kinda stuff. Zombies, vampires, Supernatural encounters, and anything related to horror or just murder in general. You could pretty much tell I was into that kinda stuff by the amount of posters on my walls (mostly of The Walking Dead)

I'm also into gaming. I don't do it as much as any other gamer would because I'd rather spend time staring at my computer than my TV.

Jack's beautiful smile always brightens up my day, or night in this case. His laughs we're the best parts of his videos. His soft giggles, uncontrollable laughter, and deep chuckles always made me smile. I always found his eyes to be very fascinating. I just love the way they sparkle.

Jack and Mark were my life. I love them both equally. I know I'd never have a chance with them considering I'm only 17. Plus I don't think they're into girls like me.

Half past 3 I decide it was time for me to sleep. I slip into my Markiplier PJ's and snuggle into my large Sam plushie.

I jolt awake and look around my brightened bedroom. Sunlight seeps through the cracks of the blinds on my window and onto my green curtains, giving the room a light green tint.

I walk out of my room and into the kitchen where my mom was making breakfast.

"Well, you're up early for someone who didn't sleep until 3am," she sounded surprised.

"How'd you know I didn't sleep til 3?" I ask curiously.

"I heard you laughing last night," she simply answers.

"Sorry if I woke you," I apologize and sit at the bar.

"Better to wake up to your kid laughing than hearing them scream," she chuckled.

"Yea, I suppose," I chuckle along with her. She sets a plate of food in front of me along with some silverware.

"Thanks," I say as I begin to eat.

"Your father left early this morning for work, he won't be back til late," mom tells me. My step father works on cars for a living which would make you understand why he'd be working so late. I nod as a reply.

After I finish eating, I set my plate in the sink and step into my bedroom. I change into a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a black septic eye shirt. I pull my dyed blue hair into a bun and slip my feet into my black and white Converse. I fix my black and blue perscription glasses and grab my phone.

"Hey, mom, I'm going to walk around for a bit," I told her before slipping on my jacket.

"Okay, baby, just be careful," she reminds. I nod and head out.

I put in my earphones and blast Markiplier's Space song. I smile as I listen to the lyrics. I feel a sudden vibration in my back pocket. I take my phone in my hand and stare at the screen.

One new message

Alex: Hey, Bea, you up yet?

Me: Yea, I'm actually walking rn.

Alex: Cool. Meet me at the park.

Me: Be there in a bit<3

I slid my phone back into my pocket and continue my journey through the neighborhood. I come to a stop as I reach the park. I notice a short curly headed girl sitting on the bench. Alex. I smile and walk up to her. She wore a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and her favorite gray American Eagle jacket.

"Hey," she smiles and hugs me.

"What'd you want to meet me for?" I ask curiously.

"You're gonna love me for this!" She says excitedly.

"Alex, I already love you," I put a hand on her should with a slight smirk.

"Well, prepare because you may cry," she warns. I stare at her, confused.

She whips out two pieces of paper. I suddenly stopped breathing when I read the words Vidcon at the top of each slip of paper. I cover my mouth, and just as she said, I cried. I slowly and shakily took the tickets from her hand and stare at each one. I look up at her and hug her tightly.

"Thank you so much!" I practically wheeze out.

"Well I know how much you love Mark and Jack I figured after everything you've done for me I could do something for you," she said in a sweet voice.

Tears streaming from my eyes, I sit down holding the tickets close to my chest. Alex sits next to me rubbing my back.

"I knew you'd love it."