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    I hadn't thought of you in weeks ,
maybe days. . .
Sometimes I forget , that I make myself forget about you
Until one day , you changed .
but everything stayed the same .

she brought you up today  .
I don't think they knew
I was keeping a tally in my head .
counting how many days it would take to forget you .
or how long it would take for the ache in my heart to go away

so here I am ,
tears running down my face ,
reminding myself
you don't love me,
& what she said can't be true
because I thought I had just forgot about you .

I'm telling myself .
those voices in my head .
that bad men dont change
but everything in my heart
begs for you to stay .

but I remind myself
I am not yours
you are not mine
and you dont want to be
it was just a fairytale
that I made up in my mind .

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