Motor Head | On Hold

--eight--

Raven's Point of View 

He kissed me.

I can't believe he had actually kissed me. 

Why?

Why was I kissing him back? This can't be happening, this was all just a dream. It had to be! I was leading him on, wasn't I? Even though when I kissed him back I didn't just feel, we were alone in this lake. Like there was nothing but the Heaven's looking down at us. It was like there were angels about us and I was in Heaven, why was this? I didn't understand since I had never felt this way towards anyone in my life. This wasn't the love feeling that I had towards my last boyfriend. When we kissed there wasn't a spark. But with Edmond, it was beyond amazing. Was I ready to date my best friend though?

I pulled away, looking down and not at his face. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want him to see the pain that was in my eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked me. 

I shook my head.

He cupped my cheek and lifted it up so that I could see his beautiful eyes, "I love you, you're my best friend Raven...I've always wanted this," 

"Well I don't," I heard myself blurting out. Tears were in both of our eyes and I quickly got away from him and out of the lake. Yes, I loved being with him but everything was crashing around me. My father was lying to me and I knew it, my brother was going to laugh at me for something and I had a sponsorship to deal with. I couldn't be with Edmond and he knew it. I had a reputation to uphold and I wasn't into him like he had thought. 

"Raven!" He called after me.

I ignored his cries, wiping my tears from my eyes. I was going to leave and never come back to see Edmond. It was going to hurt a lot and I didn't want to see him like this. I know that if I stayed with him as a friend then it was going to be a nightmare. I was going to hurt him when I was around. I know all about it and I didn't want Edmond to hurt like that. I can't be with him, I was going to be leaving anyways with a sponsor under my belt. 

"I'm sorry Edmond," I said trying hard not to cry through this but it wasn't working. He was coming through the lake, trying to reach to me and I was getting on my gloves and my helmet but it was hard since I was wet and my gloves didn't want to come on. He ran to me and put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to him. I couldn't help but start to sob. Edmond pulled me close to him and he held me. I cried in the crook of his neck and spilled everything that was inside of my heart. I did like him but I was scared to be with him. I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we had, I didn't want to commit to someone when I could be moving up in the world very shortly. 

"I'll go with you," Edmond said pulling away. He cupped my cheeks and before I knew it, his lips had crashed onto mine.I felt whole again, that I was meant to be here. It was strange but then again it wasn't. I loved it. I was falling for my best friend but I was trying so hard to hold it back.

Edmond's Point of View 

I can't believe this is happening to me.

My best friend was kissing me back and she was holding onto me. She didn't want to let me go, just how I didn't want to. I loved her, I loved her so much and I was willing to do anything to be with her. I would go till the ends of the Earth with her. While we kissed, we escaped this world and went somewhere else. I saw God, He was on my side and the look on His face was amazing. I had my best friend with me but there was something wrong. My soul wanted hers but It felt like it was crying. I pulled back and looked into Raven's eyes and saw darkness. 

She wasn't ready. 

We weren't ready to be a couple. 

God was telling me this because He didn't want me hurt again. 

I know that Raven was going to be my wife, I had dreamed about it since I had met her and God told me over and over again. He would actually put the wedding song in my head when I looked at her and I would blush and tell Him to stop it then I would hear laughing. Like he was on the floor holding his stomach roaring. 

Good ol' daddy.

"I will go with you." I said holding her close to me, "I will go with you anywhere, Raven." 

She pulls away and shakes her head and puts on her helment, "You can't. You have a family to take care of." 

Before I could protest, she was already on her bike and gone.

Just like that. 

I groaned in frustration and turned to the lake, sat down and thought about everything. 

Why am I such an idiot?