He Dreams Of Flying

Chapter 8

Chapter 8
He Dreams of Flying

It was either publish early or late. You're welcome. Last chapter, R&R please!

Castiel stood close to both the bonfire and Dean, staring it down like it held the answers to life.

Bobby and Sam had eagerly agreed when Dean had suggested the fire, and at first, it was fun. They roasted marshmallows (actually, Dean still had some marshmallow in his hair thanks to a food fight he and Sam had gotten in to near the beginning), told ghost stories, and generally had a good time. The warm crackle of the fire was dancing heat across their skin in a delicious way, and the night stars twinkled above them. Castiel watched as a stray ember came off and slowly began to reach for the sky, going higher and higher, dragging other embers up with it. Eventually, it looked like all of the embers were fading stars up above, red stars. It was one of the most beautiful things that Castiel had ever seen, and he felt so serene.

That is, until Dean reminded him of why they had actually had the bomb fire.

The leather book slipped out of his pocket and firmly into Castiel's hand, and he looked up at Dean in partial confusion. Castiel looked down and their conversation came flooding back to him.

"So what do you suggest we do with the journal, Einstein?" He asked. Dean paused for a moment, looking it over.

"We could burn it." Dean said. Castiel let out a light laugh, looking at Dean's serious expression before his smile slowly faded.

"You're serious?" He asked, frowning. Dean took a moment to gather his words before he nodded his head.

"She was a terrible mother. All having this is doing to you is dragging you down. You deserve better than this, Castiel." He said, his eyes shining with sincerity. Castiel looked down, unable to form the right words for the situation.

Burning something felt like more than just burning it. It felt like it would be a symbolic gesture, something that he would remember doing for the rest of his life. It felt like it would be his way of letting the idea of his mother go and moving on with his life, acknowledging that she was wrong and saying he was going to forget about her all together.

It wasn't all that that was his problem, though.

It felt like burning her journal would be burning his only chance at having a part of her. He needed to think though; Did he really want a part of a woman who abandoned him for something that he couldn't help?

"I-I'll think about it." Castiel said flatly. Dean nodded his head, he wasn't going to push the issue any more. If Castiel was going to do it, he was going to do it.

"We'll have a bonfire tonight. You can decide then." Dean said. Castiel nodded. That should be enough time, right?

They shared a brief, serious moment, their eyes silently communicating. It was time for Castiel to decide, and he was no closer to making his decision than he had been earlier. He shook his head in attempt to clear it, closing his eyes tightly.

Bobby didn't fail to miss the exchange. He slowly stood up, folding up his camping chair and clearing his throat. Castiel and Dean's heads both snapped up at the sound. "I think Sam and I better get heading off to bed now. You two take as long as you need." He said, patting Sam's back. Sam knew well enough that this was not a time when he should argue, so he nodded his head and stood up, grabbing his chair and pulling it up into his arms. He almost tripped walking back to the house, but he managed to make it in one piece. He looked back at the house to see Castiel and Dean silhouetted by the glow of the fire. He bit his lip and shook his head, going inside. He could tell that whatever happened out there tonight was going to be important.