Driving Doctor Mayhem

[26] Supermarket

A day of being Doc's PA typically went as follows.

I would wake up at six, hit my alarm, and get up at six-thirty. After throwing my trusty business casual blazer over my normal street clothes--thank God for my cousin--I'd grab my bag, run out the the door, and be halfway to the drive-through by the time my mother was half awake back at home.

I'd drive to pick up Doc's coffee and happy meal toy, and he always took his coffee black, which meant I had to keep a stash of mints as well. Once I got to his apartment, I would tidy up a little, and if he wanted to go someplace, I'd drive him.

If I do say so myself, I was a wonderful employee, who woke up every day, positively raring to go.

"I wish I were sleeping."

Doc glared at me, pushing the buggy through the double doors of a supermarket. "Pardon, I seem to have forgotten which one of us got duct-taped to a tree and then groped by a teenage boy."

"Why are you still on this? I already told you: his hand slipped."

"I'm over it."

"Right."

"I am. The important thing is the plan is still in motion." He grinned slyly, patting his coat pocket.

"It never ceases to amaze me how amazed you can be with yourself," I said. "I thought the Mustache Man took the money back."

"Did you really think Monday night was about getting the thousand dollars?"

My silence spoke for itself.

"You just couldn't be more wrong, Banksy."

"You underestimate me."

"That would prove difficult," he chuckled, before lowering his voice importantly. "That night, I pick-pocketed the Mayor."

My eyes widened at first, but I shook my head and rolled them when he started to look too smug, in an attempt to avoid his ego ballooning up any more. "What'd you take?"

"Let's keep this between us two," he said with faux-nonchalance. Then, "Hey, would you mind going over to the ice machine and grabbing ten bags for me?"

I pfft-ed. "What for?"

"You'll see."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because," he retorted flatly, "I'm feeling very sleepy. Oh-so terribly sleepy; I could nod off any moment, and wouldn't that be hazardous with bags of ice in tow? If anything were to happen--"

"God, okay, okay, I'm doing it, you big jerk."