Relationships

Mr. M

 Dear Mr. M

I know you're hurting, I am too, but you're hurting because of what you thought while I'm hurting because of what you did, or rather what you didn't do. You didn't keep your promises. You promised you'd never leave me, you kept reassuring me that you'd never hurt me. You said that you loved me, I fell, I fell so damn hard, I was skeptical and I was right to. I know you'd end up hurting me, why else would such an amazing guy like you be interested in me? Why else would you say you loved me? I thought you were different, I thought you wouldn't hurt me so soon after we got together. I didn't think you would hurt me. I cried that night. I haven't told anyone but I cried so damn hard, I cried for the person that you think I am, I cried for the person you think you are, I cried for what I lost, I cried for what I am currently losing. I thought you would be the one. The only person that wouldn't leave me alone. The one person, even if we didn't date, even if you broke my heart/. I thought that we shared so much that we'd maybe still be friends, that we would talk.

The quote "Those who say they love each other then break up cannot be friends. If somehow they are friends, they never loved each other to begin with," is right. You probably never really loved me but the way I cared for you, I couldn't deny that I loved you. After you broke up with me, hearing someone even say your name or say something small that reminded me of you, I wanted to break down and cry. I wanted to just break down and cry my eyes out. You keep saying that you're hurting too, I believe you, but for some reason I can't feel as much sympathy for you as I did before. I know you were trying so hard to change, or was that a lie too? Why wasn't I questioning this before? Was all you wanted from me to break my heart? To play me and screw with my feelings then leave me fucked up and broken? Because if it was, congratulations, that's exactly what you did. I congratulate you, I say well done, you succeeded in tearing my heart out and stomping all over it.

I can't bring myself to hate you, I just can't. I can't stop loving you so damn much and I hate myself so much for being so weak. I fought for us, I fought until I realized I was fighting alone. I was carrying our relationship on my back thinking that you were helping while you were just sitting on it, making it that much more difficult.

I know you'll never read this, you wouldn't care, because what I write is what I fail to say and I keep failing to tell you that I want to hate you so bad, I want a reason to forget about you besides the fact that you hurt me so bad. I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you!! I have to tell you. Mr. M. I fucking hate you so much. ALL YOU DO IS BREAK MY HEART OVER AND OVER AGAIN. ALL YOU DID WAS FOOL AROUND WITH MY FEELINGS!! The day we ended things all you could think about was your dick and how you wanted "booty pics" I FUCKING HATE THAT YOU HAVE THIS AFFECT ON ME.

You were probably thinking about someone else when you said "I miss you" because you don't miss me, you don't even care about me, you never did. Still, after all I've said in this, all I want to say, all I've been bottling up, not wanting to let loose, I still love you and I can't stop. I am truly sorry.