Ash

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

December 20th.

Dear Diary,

Somehow he's made me keep to his request. I've seen him everyday for the past week. I've been trying to deny it to everyone including myself but the truth is, it's a frightening old road he's taking me down. I never knew memory lane could be so vivid. I always thought living in your memories were unhealthy, but he's made me realize sometimes it's more cathartic than anything else. Each time I hear his voice again I get more used to it. The few days I've spent with him are already bridging the two year gap. I feel like I really have my friend back again, and it's scary because it shouldn't be this easy. His skin is still colder to the touch and I can only tell what he's feeling by his expression half the time. He isn't who he used to be, and yet he's every inch the person I used to know and when he does the little things like tell me a secret I didn't use to know about our childhood or give me a detail about Danny or my mom that I never thought he noticed it makes me realize how well he's been paying attention, and I can't help but appreciate that.

Aunt Jenny has only five days left to spend. We've finally finished the Christmas decorations. We've decked the living room with mistletoe and set up the lights everywhere the way she wants but I have a feeling she's not satisfied. She won't be until she sees me satisfied first. The thought of leaving without making sure I'm happy first is a problem for her. But I am happy. Relatively at least. I have a friend who gets me now, and an adult who cares about me to spend half of Christmas day with. It's heaven compared to last year's Christmas. By this time then everything was all ruined. No, I won't write about that. I'm too at peace today. Nothing will ruin that.

P.S: We're going shopping for gifts today. I hope I'll find something nice to buy them.

Dear Diary,

He brought me an album today. I don't know how he got it. It was in the small box of stuff in the closet under the stairs back home that we forgot to pack. He wouldn't answer how, but they were Mom's highschool pictures. She looked so happy and carefree. They nearly brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't thank him enough, but he told me to consider it an early Christmas gift.

I shared a few with Aunt Jenny and Danny, and told them I found them in the attic. Danny had a problem believing me, (he knows that attic like the back of his hand) but I managed to convince him. I framed my favorite and put it on my wall. It's her prom picture. Her date wasn't dad, obviously, but a handsome guy who looked like he was besotted with her. I wonder why she didn't end up with him instead. But that's another sad thought for another day. I just want to preserve this small bubble of happiness. Today has been almost...perfect. Yes, that's the word. Today has been a near perfect day, and I owe it all to Evans. Everyday feels like an adventure with him. He always finds new ways to surprise me. I'm so lucky to have him back.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

I pack my books back onto my shelf and throw on my coat, scarf and gloves. I pause to look out the window. It's much colder this December than the last. Perhaps it'll finally snow. That doesn't hold any promise for me. I hate snow. It's too cold as it is. If it snows I'll have to go under lock and key. I can't stand that much cold.

The doorbell rings as expected. I grin. He's been daring Danny these past few days. He won't dare punch him again. Not while he still has a dark bruise healing on his knuckles, but he still throws him a surly look every time he sees him at the door. Evans doesn't mind. He's convinced he'll still warm up to him eventually. His confidence is having an edge on Aunt Jenny, even if she won't admit it. After we ended our fight she hasn't mentioned anything about us being a couple again, but I see her going soft towards him again. I'm glad for it. He doesn't deserve all the hate they're throwing at him. If they only knew half of the sacrifices he made they would be thanking him instead.