Double Down Demons (A Ghost Adventures/Zak Bagans Story)

Chapter 16: Communication station

"I've been an ass," And that's all it takes for the flood gates to open." I should never have left you at the gallows alone but I knew it would make great TV. So I put you at risk for a stupid TV show! And I was so scared when I realised what was happening but I still treated you horribly afterwards. I was worrying too much about what you must think of me and how I was going to convince you to carry on and to at least salvage our friendship enough for you to not hate me that I didn't think about how you were feeling and I did nothing to comfort you. I'm sure I just pushed you away instead, I'm sorry, I know it's not an excuse, but I love what I do so much I get so focussed on it but then I got so confused having you there. You kept breaking through my concentration and I didn't know how to handle it and you got hurt because of it. I acted like a dick! I'm sorry I just wanted to explain, I shouldn't have come, i'll leave." He garbles and moves to get up. I grab his hand and pull him back down, finally he faces me with a look of surprise on his face.

"Have you finished with the pity party? " I ask feeling a little annoyed with him. Zak looked at me in a way that made me realise he isn't used to being spoken to like that.

"Ok,number one I have watched more than enough Ghost Adventures to know what to expect from both you and the experience. I was there by my own free will and you didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do,you couldn't have if you had tried! I'm not one to bow down to your every whim just because you're hot and famous!" I almost yell as he looks at me in shock. Not used to having someone stand up to him nor missing the fact that I had just called him hot.

"I wanted to investigate the gallows," I continued. "And what happened was at least partly my fault, I should have moved away when I first started coughing but I really wanted to get some good evidence by myself. As for you thinking you treated me badly, pffft! You were focused yes, but I expected that. Its your job, your passion. I see it in you every time I watch the show and I admire it as it fuels your integrity and tenacity. But you were still aware enough to make sure I was ok, I wouldn't be wearing this if that wasn't the case." I plucked at the hoody I was wearing and Zak took the opportunity to interrupt.

"But in the car, I saw your face..."

"Ok I admit I was disappointed that we didn't interact much after we left. My emotions were all over the place and I didn't really want to be alone if I'm honest. However, I also know enough about you to know that you do need to be alone following an investigation, that they hit you hard too. So I didn't want to speak up and put the pressure on you especially in front of the others. If I had really needed company I would have gone to my sister's yet here I am, or was, home alone. I was mostly disappointed that I wouldn't be spending more time alone with you but was also worrying that you might think I was weird and clingy and just another fan girl. I was tired and not processing stuff properly and..."

Zak holds up his hands and interrupts me once more.

"Woah there! Take a breath will ya!" He smiles. Oh thank god I got him to smile but then it sinks in that I had been completely blabbering and shared much more with him about how I felt than I had ever intended.Damn you sleep deprivation! "I think we need to get a bit better at communicating with each other." He chuckled, I look up at him quizzically. "I was kind of confused too because for the first time ever I didn't want to be alone either. I wanted to at least talk with you for a while but I was too worried about what you thought of me to even suggest it. And yeah, its hard when there's a captive audience of guys around the whole time.' He admits and I roll my eyes.

"We're a couple of idiots basically." I note and he laughs and nods. "So we're all good? No more worrying about things that could have been ok if you had just spoken to me about it?" I ask in exasperation, he nods again still smiling. "Good, now stop being an idiot i'm too tired for that shit!" I laugh and give him a playful slap on the arm.

"Hey!"He protests and grabs my hand. "Seriously though, thank you for being understanding, you're a good friend." I smile back at him although inwardly i'm riding an emotional roller coaster, happy that we had cleared the air but also acutely aware of the emphasis he placed on 'friend' and worried about how strongly I was beginning to feel for him. I tried to ignore it, I was friends, good friends with Zak Bagans! There was nothing to be sad about that! I was tired, I told myself you'll feel better about it later. I pushed my doubts aside so Zak wouldn't have to worry anymore.

It was 11am and we still hadn't slept so I suggest that we settle down and watch a move to try and clear our heads.

"Just nothing with ghosts in it." Zak insists and I whole heartedly agree. Thinking something light would be best I put on Zoolander. Before I know it Zak has his arm around my shoulder pulling me close,not concentrating on the film I wonder what Zak is thinking. I had never seen him this tactile with anyone else before. I quickly remind myself that I had only ever seen him on Ghost Adventures and Aaron's vlog before so how was I to know how he was with his female friends, trying and failing to ignore the pang of jealousy at that thought. Dammit I need to get a grip! But then he starts giggling away at the movie and my heart flutters in my chest. But why does he have to be so cute and hot and lush and easy to talk to and funny and..... aaaaaarrrrgggh! I scream inwardly in frustration and without realising I physically shake my head trying to stop the whirlpool of thoughts from swirling uncontrollably around my mind.

"You ok?" Zak asks me bringing me crashing back to reality. Oh shit! I think.
"Umm yeah, my hair was tickling my face." I lie hoping my hot face doesn't give me away. Zak gives me a strange look but obviously thinks better of questioning any further and I breath a small sigh of relief. I try and turn my attention to the screen but feel my eyes drooping. As I drift off I swear I feel Zak brush my hair away from my face and stroke the contours of my cheek with his fingertips. Or is that just wishful thinking?