BEING MUSLIMAH

CHAPTER EIGHT

          "Satans plan is (but) to excite enemity and hatred between you with intoxicants (alcoholic drinks) and gambling , and hinder you from the remembrance of Allah and from as salat, so will you not then abstain?"

                                  -al ma idah  5:91

                                      Quran

          My brain has not been working properly since I opened that wretched fridge and saw alcohol

. How could he do what has been prohibited by Allah? Did he not know how wrong and how sinful it is to drink or to take drugs - anything that is intoxicating? These things clouded our thoughts and made us do wrong and they were also harmful to health and it is haram to do anything that harms our body.... How could I have gotten a husband who was'nt a practicing muslim?

              By  eight PM I had tidied up the house , after so many days I had something for dinner and finally went to get ready I wore a cashmere overcoat and a velvet laced hijab , I didn't do make up because non - mehrams would be there, so I  only applied an eye liner , didn't apply perfume either but I smelled of shampoo and my soap so I smelled pleasant enough.

            I waited for the guests to arrive with Ahmed , they finally did around 8.30 or so , there were girls and guys mostly couples , I had arranged the food on the table .I was thinking about going to my room as it was a wild crowd , the alcohol was taken out , music blasted out of the speakers , guys were all smoking and a few of the couples were sitting lazily on the couches and dancing and  a few of them were even Very close to each other .

      I  really really wanted to go to my room to block all these haram acts out so I silently crossed the hall , I was about to enter my room when a rough hand grabbed me , it was a guy and he pulled me towards him, I was disgusted a non - mehram was holding me in a very intimate way , I had tears in my eyes and I started to pray to Allah to help me , then I  started shouting for Ahmed to come and help me out .

      He was my husband afterall , I looked every where for him , the guy was trying to kiss me  and I was squirming to get rid of him , he asked me if I was looking for Ahmed , I glared at him through my tears " Leave me please, this is against my morals"

"please."

he looked at me from top to bottom

"Please , I beg u"   I said again

"The guy you were looking for, there he is, why do you want a brat like him anyway? he's a womaniser , I don't think a girl like you would fall for a guy like him, you look kinda pure"  he said and then  left me alone.

       I looked at the corner where the guy had pointed me to , Ahmed was there - there was a girl hugging and kissing him and Ahmed looked like he was enjoying it. I was shattered-what have I gotten myself into?

     I wanted to confront this guy but why would he listen to me when he thought nothing of me?  but he was my husband my inner conscience replied . So I went to him and pushed the girl away

"How could you do this Ahmed ? first it is against islam and second u are already married , don't you understand?"   I shouted over the loud music

    He looked at me in a bored fashion , I could feel his hand on me and the next thing I knew I was lying on the floor . I hit my head on the centre table and felt blood trickling down my forehead.

      Ahmed looked at me with disgust and pulled the girl along to his room , I was so embarassed I already had a light black eye which had faded only lightly due to his punch and now I had a bruised forehead and the embarassment was so huge -  people were still staring at me.

         I flew to my room and locked the door was there anything that my husband didn't do? He drank, He abused me and He was also into adultery ,maybe recalling what the guy had told , he was also a womaniser !

     I wiped my forehead with a cloth..tears were far to come I  was distressed and depressed.

           ' Ya Allah , please help me and give me ease in my distress and show me the truth and the right path '. I prayed.

           I could'nt cry because it was a lot to process  and maybe I didn't have as many tears in my eyes -maybe all my tears had dried out , or maybe I was going crazy coz I was giving up hope that someday I will be happy with my husband, his character today explained why he never came home much.

      I prayed to Allah for a miracle where my life would be happy again.