Do You Miss Me? (Gerard Way x Reader)

Every Accidental Damage I Wouldn't Take

Some trigger warnings in this chapter, I'll put a ;t; before and after them.
If you are uncomfortable reading these things, please skip through them and I'll sum up those parts at the end of this chapter.
Please stay safe and know it is okay to be sad.
It's okay to be uncomfortable by certain topics.
I love you all.

Falling.
Falling falling falling.
I keep falling.
I'm plummeting into darkness.
Dark, smokey hands wrap around my neck, squeezing.
I feel my lungs empty, and my throat is released, and I fall on cold, hard tile.

;t;

I look around, and see a sink, a toilet, and a bathtub.
Below the bathtub, is a puddle of blood.
A large puddle.
Red tinted water flows over the sides, flooding the bathroom with a dark, crimson shade.
I walk over to the tub, looking into the red water.

Gerard.

Gerard with his wrists pouring out blood, his face drained of any color.
Pale.
Red.
Red everywhere.
Gerard stares at the ceiling, his expression unchanging, his eyes not blinking.
A lifeless Gerard floats in the bathtub, a note, written in his own blood, across the wall.
I'm sorry.
He's gone Y/N
I'm gone too.
A messy line of blood travels down from the O, Gerard's hand and bloody finger where it ends.
"He's gone." I say, taking the razor from the side of the tub, I make a small line from the bottom of my hand to mid wrist point. I take my finger, rubbing it in the blood and write on the wall.
I lay myself down next to Gerard, and continue to cut my flesh open.
I wince when I get all the way down to just before my forearm.
I quickly do the same for the other arm, and look up at Gerard, holding him in my final moments.
"I love you." I hold him tightly as I let go of my final breath.
On the wall next to us, is our final messages.
I'm sorry.
He's gone Y'N
I'm gone too.

I'm sorry Gerard.
You're gone.
I'm gone too.

;t;

"Y/N."
"Y/N!"
"I'M SORRY!" I bolt up, and look at the room around me. I'm laying in a bed, my bed.
Gerard's bed.
I look over to my left and see Gerard, his hand holding mine and his eyes wide.
"Oh my god." I throw myself at him, and he catches me in his arms. I sob into his chest, as he gently strokes the back of my head.
"Are you okay?" He takes my head in his hands, leaning me back so I can look at him.
I slowly shake my head, biting my lip to hold in a sob.
"Y/N, what happened? It was just a dream, you're okay."
"I'm not okay Gerard, oh my god. I'm not okay." I feel my body tremble, the same image keeps popping in my head.

;t;
Every time I blink, every time I close my eyes, I see a lifeless Gerard, floating in the bathtub with his wrists slit open.
I'm sorry.
He's gone Y/N.
I'm gone too.
;t;

"Please tell me what happened." Gerard takes my hands, peering into my eyes.
"You- you." I bite my lip again, fighting the tears that want to fall from my eyes. "You were in a bathtub..." I stop, looking at Gerard.

"You were dead, you, you kill-" He puts his finger up to my lips.

;t;
A messy line of blood travels down from the O, Gerard's hand and bloody finger where it ends.
;t;

"You don't have to finish. I'm okay, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." He strokes back my hair, cradling my head in his hand.
"I went with you. I did it too..." My hand begins to shake, and I look down at my wrist, I close my eyes, only to open them again.
I do not need that image in my head. 
Gerard kisses me softly on the cheek, caressing my hand with his thumb.
"You're okay, Y/N. I'm here, you're here. It's okay. Everything will be alright." He pulls me closer to him, and I lean my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. 
It sounds like music after that dream.
"Hey, how about we call Frank and we can go to Starbucks?" He smiles at me, taking his hand in mine and helping me off the bed.
"Of course." I quickly change into some skinny jeans and an oversized hoodie.
I meet Gerard by the door, and we both walk down the street, hand in hand.

~~~~~~

We walk over to a booth and hand Frank his drink, and place ours down on the table. (I just laughed really hard bc at first i accidentally typed "handed frank his drick." why do i find "drick" so fuckin funny.) I take a sip from the green straw, and glance at Gerard. 
Past his shoulder, I see Mikey.

"Mikey?" Mikey starts walking over to us.
Gerard and Frank give me a confused look, not even phased that I just found Mikey.

;t;
As Mikey gets closer, I realize blood on his arm.
I'm sorry.
I'm gone.
It looks carved into his skin.
;t;

I gasp, putting my hand to my mouth and looking at Gerard and Frank.

I glance back to Mikey, but he's gone.
I shake my head, and rest it against my hands.
"Hey, Y/N are you alright?" Gerard rubs my back, and I see Frank glance at him.
"I- I don't know. I think so." I take a sip of my drink, closing my eyes.
Images from the dream flash back and I shoot my eyes open.
"Y/N? Are you sure you're okay?" Frank eyes me suspiciously, gently taking my hand in his.
"Gerard, Mikey," my voice shakes, and something takes over me, and I can't control my words, "Mikey is gone."

Then everything goes black.


_________

A/N:
Okay.
wow, what a chapter.
so to sum up the triggering parts, since I don't want to get to into it, (those were actually kind of hard to write, imagining G like that and also... ya know..)
Gerard commits, and the reader finds him>>>
and the reader does it too, in the story, of course.
for the mikey parts, its kinda selfharm related, but also not really, considering it doesnt say he does it himself, but i put it there just incase.

Once again, if you are uncomfortable with these topics, that is completely okay, and I absolutely understand.

I actually really like where this story is going, and I'm really excited to write more.
And finish it BC I LIKE THE IDEA OF THE SEQUEL.
EVEN THO, I ONLY HAVE CHAPTER ONE THOUGHT UP AND THEN THE REST IS NOTHING.
SO YEET YEET.

I hope you all have a wonderful day/evening.
If you ever need help, I'm here, so please don't hesitate to message me.
There are also anonymous hotlines, please use those if you feel you are in danger.

I love you all.
Thank you so much for reading <3