Simply Insane

Introductions - Prolouge

This story is based on true events.

Though the idea of introducing yourself to a complete stranger seems odd at first sometimes it forms a new friendship. It's showing them a side of you they didn't know. The same thing goes for seeing someone after a while if you're in a long distance relationship, or coming out to your parents. They might like you, they might not. The number one thing is that you don't let a person's opinion of you define the childish being you are. I let that fact slip my mind. I sat in my Pre-Kindergarten classroom just on the outskirts of Delaware. I smiled mindlessly looking at the other people, holding on to my cousin's arm tightly. I was afraid, and she was the only comfort I had. Yet that she still is today. I came out to my school as a pansexual, and they all looked at me differently. She didn't. I told them about my religion, and they started cussing at me, saying things like: "Christ Hater," and, "Devil Worshipper." Yet my dear cousin held me close and protecting me from all of the blasphemy muttered by the uninformed kids. That was the beginning of my 7th grade year. That wasn't even the worst of it. I've been made fun of for almost everything. I have depression, my dad is autistic, I have asian relatives. You name it and someone has made fun of me for it. But in this story that is not the point. We will get into specifics later. What I mean to say is that I knew these people my entire life, and then for some reason they cut me out. My cousin left school, but was this year replaced by my other cousin, who is 9 months younger than me. She watched as I was pestered by the ignorant people surrounding me, and she stood by, not knowing what to do. I don't blame her. I was confused too. All I wanted was for someone to stop it. One day I got called out into the hallway by the principal in the middle of my first period Religion class. In my class of 22 people, yes 22, and keep in mind that was the only 7th grade class, one girl had lost her shit. The principal didn't say that, but honestly there wasn't a better way to phrase the situation. I was told she saw me going to therapy with my father. All she saw was me going home with an older man. She then decided it'd be fun to tell the 5th grade girls of my depression. I'm very open about it, but it agitates me when people talk about it when I'm not there to state what's really going on. She started talking about how she hoped he was raping me. I was always really depressed and she said that might be why. She said that she hoped I had killed myself. That hit me hard. In my lifetime I've experienced much heartache, but that was the worst. I had a group of online friends a while back who influenced my depression. They made fun of me, called me racial slurs and cuss words. They told me to kill myself. The girl sat in the teacher's break room with tears in her eyes. She wasn't sorry she did it, she was sorry she got caught. It was the fifth grade girls who came forward. I thanked the individuals after the matter. I told the girl about how serious it was, and that she didn't know how much an accusation like that could impact people. If she had told someone of high enough authority my dad could be on trial at the moment. I forgave her, but I never forgot. I went home after a panic attack that day. I couldn't be in the same room as her. My parents came and talked to the principal. It was traumatic. I'm still scared to sit next to her. Upset because of the way she treats people. She knows I get scared when I'm near her. I think she sees it as all a game. She was suspended for 3 days. She lied about why she was gone. I tried to tell people what happened. No one believed me. They all see me as some attention whore, though that is not what I strive to be. I strive to be a good person. It's been two months since this has happened. It still impacts me. I still can't sit with her. I can't hear her voice. Even seeing the pink neon glisten off of her North Face jacket scared the hell out of me. She still talks about me behind me back. She formed her own introduction of me. She decided I was different. She decided. At this moment, I'm deciding that I haven't changed a bit.

Introductions