Resilience

Part 4, Chapter 20

Although she was raised as the daughter of a gentleman and his wife, Felicia always knew they weren't her real parents. The fact that she was adopted was not only not hidden from her, but was constantly referred to, usually in conjunction with a deep sigh of frustration, whenever she disappointed the couple who had adopted her.

"Oh Felicia," her mother would sigh, "one would think even a baseborn child could learn to be ladylike, in her behavior, at the very least."

So she would be set to practice her needlework—a skill she was being taught by Mrs. Whiteford, the vicar's wife, who took every opportunity to nurture the poor child since the neglect of Felicia's "invalid" mother was well-known—and Felicia would dream about what her real parents must have been like.

When she was younger, she dreamed of being the long-lost daughter of the King and Queen who would one day be restored to her rightful place as Princess of the Realm, being clasped to the breasts of her royal parents, and thereafter being lovingly and lavishly indulged until the memory of her unhappy childhood was forever erased.

As she grew older, she found herself alternately wondering what was wrong with her that her parents could have given her away, and then what was wrong with them to have done so. She knew that she was an object of shame because her birth parents had not been wed, but she didn't understand how any of that was her fault. She did, however, understand that it was the sad situation of her birth that had made her such a disappointment to her adoptive parents. If only her mother and father had thought to marry first, perhaps she would have had a chance to be a good child.

Most of the time, however, she wished she had parents like Mr. and Mrs. Whiteford, the vicar and his wife. Even with seven children of their own and only a small income, the Whitefords found time to invite Felicia to their home and treat her as one of their own. She played with the Whiteford children and learned to make jam and jellies in the Whiteford kitchen and accompanied Mrs. Whiteford on calls to the poor and sick. Felicia felt like a normal child when she was with the Whitefords.