Resilience

Chapter 8

In the days that followed, Felicia found herself haunted by melancholy as she recovered from the terrors of the adventure at the brothel. As she reviewed the events of the day in her mind, she was stricken by the fact that she had very nearly lost everything by returning there, and that she had accomplished very little by doing so. In fact, she became preoccupied by the very real possibility that her activities might have incited her enemies to seek her out for revenge. There was no doubt that they knew where she lived, and while the house was secure enough, Felicia comprehended that it would be a relatively simple matter for someone to seize her on the street should she be accompanied only by her maid.

So Felicia was relieved when Lord Kendall returned, and it showed in her effusive welcome as he strode through the door. At first taken by surprise, the earl soon fell into the spirit of things and deepened the passionate kiss without any regard for the open door or the fascinated footmen.

"Perhaps I should go away more often," he teased as they hastened up the stairs to the bedroom they shared.

"If you do," she threatened, "I shall retaliate by indulging in Pierre's delicious pastries until I get as fat as a cow."

By that time she was flat on the bed with her bodice unbuttoned and his hand fondling her breasts under the chemise.

"You are so beautiful, Kitten. At times like this I swear I'll never leave you again." He shrugged off his elegant waistcoat and when his eagerness caused him to fumble with the shirt buttons, Felicia lent her assistance, taking the opportunity to sweep her hands lightly across his chest.

She wanted to feel his masculine strength against her, as though the wild passion of their lovemaking could blot out the terror of that horrific day. She cried out with desire when he suckled one breast while fondling the other, and begged him to take her quickly, as though by bringing her to that magic peak, he would be her knight, her Lancelot, her protector in every way from the dangers of the outside world.

Although he didn't understand what caused Felicia's desperate need, Charles instinctively rose to the occasion, settling himself between her parted thighs and thumbing her nipples while he thrust his cock into her repeatedly, first in a very controlled manner and then, as he felt her tension peaking, wildly and forcefully until they both cried out and he fell to the bed beside her. She curled up next to him, as if to say, "Hold me, Charles," and while encircled in his arms, she was content. For awhile.

But later, as they rose from the bed and began the preparations to dress for dinner, Felicia found herself falling back into despair. If only she could share her fears with the man she loved. She knew instinctively that he cared for her, and a man in his position certainly had the power and financial wherewithal to solve all of her problems.

However, as much as they lived as husband and wife at the house in Brook Street, the fact is that they were not. She had no legal claim on him and he could put her aside at any time for any reason. From the beginning of their association, she had learned that he didn't like to be reminded of her past life as a prostitute, and she was sure it would not please him to discover that she had borne another man's child. He had, in fact, made it very clear to her that she was expected to take precautions to prevent conception, as he did not intend to father any illegitimate children.

There was every chance that he had grown to love her enough to be able to overcome these qualms, but he had never spoken of love and her position was too precarious to take the risk. Which meant that no matter how often he demonstrated his affection for her, she could never truly count on him to be the shining knight she needed to rescue her from the dragons.

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In the days that followed, Felicia stayed close to home, and Lord Kendall, somewhat distracted himself, did not comment when she forsook her habitual morning walks and shopping excursions in favor of assisting the gardener with the daily cutting and pruning, the cook with mouth-watering pastries, and the housekeeper with mending the linens.