An Unwoman's Tale

Un – Denoting the reversal or cancellation of an action or state

      2 Denoting deprivation, separation, or reduction to a lesser state

 2.1 Denoting release

Woman – An adult human female

– Oxford Dictionary of English

Words have power. They must, or they wouldn't have been taken from us.

My life centered around words, preserving them, promulgating them. I spent my days surrounded by them, filled with them, in search of and in service to them. I sustained them and was sustained by them. I was a librarian.

That's where they came for me and that's where I made my stand; chained to the computerized self-checkout station. Admittedly, a card catalog would have been more poetic, but it was long ago digitized onto a portable tablet. I stood silent as the Angels lit the first fire. I was content for that to be the hill I died on. Instead, it will be this one of mud and ash and waste and ruin.

The worst part of watching books burn is the sound, the familiar crackling, campfire sound. The sound of toasting marshmallows, of bonfires on the beach, a yule log warming Christmas stockings, hung with hope and care.

I vomited on my clothes, the same ones I wore until arriving at the center, where I was given a long grey smock and a death sentence. The Colonies.

We were told it was vital to the Republic, that our suffering would be noble and soul-cleansing. We were told many convenient lies by brown-clad functionaries who didn't care whether we believed them. I recognized one of them, a former patron with a taste for collections of self-help platitudes. I forgave her overdue fine once.

When they served the writ informing me of the library's condemnation, I laughed. I knew they were serious, but still I laughed – a child's laugh of hopeless defiance. I was not allowed to read the decree myself, of course. It was read to me by a young man who, in days past, might have benefited from the library's Easy Reader adult literacy program. He pronounced "heretic" "her-eat-ick" and I decided maybe I liked it better his way.

I didn't comply, of course. I kept the doors open later, turned the lights brighter. I thrust armfuls of books at the willing, to save and safeguard. Soldiers burned the rest just a week later, but too late. I'd already set a thousand minds on fire.

A grimoire is a book for summoning the spirits of the dead. It comes from the same root as grammar.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." That is my prayer, my hope, my epitaph.

Words have power. They must, or they wouldn't have been turned against us.