•The Demon Inside• Brendon Urie X Reader

'Chapter fifty'

Your POV

"Now I'm glad to be still alive."

I said half smiling looking down at my arms. The wounds had healed pretty fast again but of course they were still very visible. I looked up and Bredon looked at me like the happiest man in the world just because I said that. "Look at the road you fool.", I said jokingly and chuckled. He did as told with a smile. "I'm glad too.", he mumbled and looked at me again for a second.

He stopped in front of the house and we got out. He wanted me to open the door. I looked at him somewhat confused but unlocked the door and stepped in. At first there was nothing. Then I wanted to walk into the living room and there were Dallon and Ryan. Ryan practically jumped on top of me and hugged me. "Welcome back!", he yelled happily and I tried to not fall over and laughed. When Ryan let go of me Dallon hugged me too. It was more of a boys hug like with one arm. "Come on!", I said laughing and hugged him back and squeezed him. He was obviously surprised by that but hugged me back properly then. I saw Brendon sneaking into the kitchen.

A few seconds later he came back with a cake. I put my hands in front of my mouth and gasped. It was huge. And cute! It was all black except red eyes and it had horns. I needed to laugh when I saw that. "Are you implying I'm a cake?", I asked jokingly. He lay his head aside. "Well... you're as sweet as one.", he said and smirked. I blushed and looked around awkwardly. Brendon placed the cake on the table and began to cut it carefully. Then he put the pieces on four plates and gave them to us but kept one for himself. "It's a welcome back and apology cake.", he explained scratching his neck and I smiled at him. "Thank you.", I said and began to eat. Normally I would've kissed him but although I had forgiven him it was weird. I was just so scared that he would replace me again. It wouldn't be hard. I'm replaceable. There are a lot of better people out there. "(Y/n)?"

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Brendons voice. "Yea?", I answered quickly. "Are you alright?", he asked me worried. "Yeah... just... tired probably.", I lied and took another bite of the cake faking a smile. I just couldn't enjoy this right now. I tried and I know that I still loved him but that hurt me so much. Even if he was drunk and hungry. It just hurt. But what should I do? I have no where to go. I don't even know how far away my hometown ist. And i still loved him. I still needed him. I didn't know what to do. I think he needs me as much as I need him. Maybe I'm a burden. Probably. I'm different. I'm me. Why should he love me? He can have it so much better. "What?", Brendons voice pulled me out of my thoughts again. He looked at me with a hurt and worried expression. I looked at him in shock. I must've said what I thought. "You aren't a burden first of all and I couldn't ever have it better without you. Please don't think that. You're the best that could've ever happened to me!", he said with a broken voice. I just stood there in shock trying to remember since when I spoke out loud. I placed my plate on the table and turned around to go into our room. Before that I mumbled a sorry.

As I closed the door behind me I fell on the ground and began to cry my eyes out. Why was I like this? Why can't I be normal like every one else? Why am I so whiny? Why can't I be strong? Why can't I be good enough? Why do I make others sad and bring them down? Why? I cried so much that my eyes hurt. But it was silent crying. I didn't want the guys to hear me. Luckily they left me alone for a bit. I could calm down a bit but I was still sitting on the floor.

I heard a knock but remained silent. "May I come in?", Brendon asked with a careful voice. I got up slowly and opened the door but not enough that he could go through it. He had to open it by himself. He firmly closed the door behind him when he stepped inside. I just stood there awkwardly. "Do you want to talk?", he asked careful and got closer to me. I just sat down on the bed and he did too. "Why are you thinking those things? That I could find someone better then you. Or all that stuff.", he asked me carefully and stroked my cheek while his other hand hold mine. "I... I never felt really... important to anyone... I just feared to be left all the time and now it's just me thinking everybody is leaving me anyways... I...", I said and nearly broke into tears again. He scooted closer and hugged me tightly. "Please know that you are important. You're so fucking important to me. And I'm so sorry again for what had happened. I swear to you by my life and everything I own that I will never do something like that again. You're perfect to me (y/n)! I love the things you hate about yourself! Remember that please. I love everything about you.", he said as he pulled away again to look into my eyes. He looked so serious about it. I looked down then and nodded. I felt his lips on my forehead. "Please. I need you. I love you. I want to be with you forever. And we're immortal now so forever is a long time.", he said still deadly serious. I looked up and he pecked my lips. "I love you too. And I will never leave you. I need you.", I said and kissed him. He smiled into the kiss.

Then he began to caress my back and cheek. I slung my arms around his neck so we got closer. He began to deepen the kiss and suck on my lower lip. That send a shiver down my spine but I liked it. Eventually he nibbled on it too what felt great. I had never kissed anyone before so I didn't know what was good or not but what he did was great. Now both of his hands cupped my face and he leaned forward and pushed me onto the bed lightly. Eventually he was on top of me still kissing me. His kisses began to move downwards. At first he just slowly moved to my lower lip towards my jawline when I didn't do anything against it he moved even further to my neck. It send tingles to my whole body. I didn't know how to describe that feeling properly but it felt amazing. After a bunch of sweet kissed he hit one spot that tingled more then the others and I exhaled air. I felt him smiling and breathing against my skin. Then he started to suck on my skin at that spot and I bit my lip in pleasure. He started to suck with more force what caused me to arch my back. He even bit me carefully but I enjoyed that. After a while he returned kissing my lips moving his hands towards the end of my hoodie. Then there was a knock.

"Guys?"

Brendon packtically jumped of me unto a normal sitting position and I sat up being red like a tomato. "Yeah?", Brendon said back to Ryan who had knocked. "I just wanted to know if you're okay. You're in there for a while now.", he said sounding a bit worried. "We are good, don't worry.", Brendon answered quickly and Ryan footsteps disappeared. Then Brendon looked over to me with a busted look. I just looked at him awkwardly. I was still red as hell. I had never done something like that before and I didn't know if it was weird to admit that I liked it. "Uhh.. sorry... I...", Brendon mumbled but I shook my head. "It's okay, I... I liked it.", I answered looking at my hands. He smiled at me kinda proudly. "But we should go back to the others. They're curious already.", Brendon said chuckling and I nodded still awkwardly.

As I wanted to stand up he reached out to put my hair to the front and the hood of the hoodie closer to my neck. "They don't need to see that.", he said chuckling and I blushed again. Did he leave a hickey?! I had never one before since I never had a relationship at all or was invited to parties. I hold my hair close to that spot and then we got out. Both of the other boys looked at me in concerned and I just half smiled. "I'm alright. Sorry that I worried you.", I admitted and sat down on the couch next to them. "Well go grocery shopping in a bit. Do you want to come you us?", Ryan asked us both. Brendon just said "nah"

"Im staying here too. I don't feel like going out. Sorry guys. But could you bring some fruits again?", I asked them smiling and they nodded. I recognised Dalling who sat on the right side of me staring at my beck for a while. I quickly let my hair fall forward to cover the hickey. He didn't say anything luckily. Then eventually they left and I was alone with Brendon.

We went back into our room because why not. We sat on the bed and talked about music and other stuff. Eventually he cut me off while I was about to fangirl over their album with kissing me.

"I would love to continue where we started."

A/N: we're at chapter fifty... wow... that's many. I didn't think I would come that far with that many readers! Honestly! Thank you guys and I hope you enjoy what I'll wrote in the future too ^^