my crimson saviour (Gerard Way fan fic)

Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5~GERARD'S P.O.V.~

I woke up the next morning. Crimson was still asleep. God she looked beautiful while she slept. Too creepy? Yeah I think so. Whatever. She is an angel. I just couldn't figure out what put her in this hell hole. She's perfect. Her looks. Her personality. Everything. I really wish she'd open up a bit. Just a little. So I could help her. She obviously has a life outside this place. I don't. Not anymore. (HEY MISS ME EMO BOY?)  Shit. It's back. My inner voice. My inner demon. Fuck. I'd wish it'd just leave me the fuck alone. Why cant I have a normal life. (I'LL BE HERE FOREVER. MAY AS WELL GET USED TO IT.) I wish I could just get rid of it. Get rid of myself. Yeah. That's what I'll do. I quickly took out a piece of paper and a pen.

Dear whoever finds this,

I'm sorry. I cant take it anymore. The voice is getting to be to much. No amount of drugs will ever cure me. I'm sorry to all the people who will miss me when I'm gone. To my family, I love you so much. My friends who quickly became a second family to me, I'll miss you guys. Ray, Frank, Mikey, mom and dad. Thank you. Crimson, you're the one I'm gunna miss the most. You mean so much to me. I know you'll probably forget about me when you're out of here but I'll never forget you. I love you Crimson with every fiber of my being. I just wish I could say it in person. Tell Hart, Char, Angel and Racheal I'll miss them too.

Gerard.

I folded the paper and put it on my bed. Then I went to the bathroom. I kept some of my coke under the sink in there. Yes. I do coke. I'm not proud of it but it keeps the voice away. I also found a blade I had stashed away. I never used it but I guess now's that time. I took a couple hits of coke then grabbed the blade. I looked at it at fist. It's not to late to turn back. Who am I kidding. Yes it is. (DO IT ALREADY! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE! JUST TAKE THE BLADE AND SLICE ALREADY!) That's what I did. Not deep at first but enough where it'd bleed a bit. Then with each stroke I got deeper and deeper, until I couldn't anymore. I dropped the blade and laid there until the darkness consumed me. But before I was completely gone I heard someone. I couldn't tell who though.

~CRIMSON'S P.O.V.~

I woke up and looked over at Gerard's bed. He wasn't there. Weird. Although, I did see something that caught my eye. It was a paper. On the front it said: To Who Ever It May Concern. In Gerard's writing. What the hell was going on. Before I could even read it I saw something red coming from the bathroom. I ran over to the door, it was unlocked. I opened the door to find a nearly dead Gerard.

-No.....No.....No! Gerard please don't die on me. I said as I was holding him in my arms. I was crying a lot. I couldn't lose him. He was the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love him. Yes. I LOVE HIM! I LOVE GERARD WAY! I quickly ran out into the hall and found a nurse.

-Help! Gerard slit his wrists! Please help. Was all I said. The nurse ran past me back towards our room. She grabbed some bandages and gauze along the way. She was also calling for back up as she ran down the hall. I was sitting there crying and shaking. I was scared. I was about to lose the love of my life. If that was even possible at 18. Yes. I was about to lose the love of my life. All I could do was pray. Pray that he'd be okay. They pulled him out on a gurney and he was hooked up to an oxygen tank. He was paler then usual......if that was possible. He was rushed over to the hospital side of this hell. He went in for surgery immediately. I was scared. When his surgery was over a nurse came and got me asking if I wanted to see him. Of course I did. I walked with her to his room. When I went in all I saw was his body, hooked up to all these machines. Keeping him alive. I sat in a chair, close to his bed. I grabbed his hand and started to cry. That's when I saw the paper on the bedside table. I decided to read it.

   

Dear whoever finds this,

I'm sorry. I cant take it anymore. The voice is getting to be to much. No amount of drugs will ever cure me. I'm sorry to all the people who will miss me when I'm gone. To my family, I love you so much. My friends who quickly became a second family to me, I'll miss you guys. Ray, Frank, Mikey, mom and dad. Thank you. Crimson, you're the one I'm gunna miss the most. You mean so much to me. I know you'll probably forget about me when you're out of here but I'll never forget you. I love you Crimson with every fiber of my being. I just wish I could say it in person. Tell Hart, Char, Angel and Racheal I'll miss them too.

Gerard.

What? He thought I didn't care about him? Why? And did he say he loves me? Like as a friend? More then that? I had so many questions and no answers. I was scared I'd never get the answers. Please Gerard wake up......please.......

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A/N: The italic words(LIKE THIS) are Gerard's inner voice.