I Won't Let Go [ BWWM ]

Chapter 42

I walked in and followed the red rose petals and candles lighting the way. When I got to my bedroom door I saw a big heart made of rose petals with candles surrounding them. I open the door and was completely speechless.

On my bed was ‘will you marry me’ in rose petals and Etan was beside my bed on one knee with a ring on display.
I looked at Ethan who smiled at me and started talking.

“Journee, I know we have only known each other for a short time but I know you are the one. I Chose this ring because it is unique and beautiful just like you. I can honestly say you and you alone have captured my heart. For so long I was scared to give my heart away but when God spoke to me I knew it was safe. You have turned my life upside down in both good and bad ways but I can no longer deny that your heart is like a magnet and so is mine and the constantly pull us together no matter how hard we fight it. I am not going to lie I have never been so scared of losing something in my entire life, then again nothing has ever meant as much to me as you do. I understand that you have become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve you have no idea how to respond or handle it. I am here to teach you how to love and how to except it. You have touched my heart, touched my soul, changed my life and I want tp spend the rest of my life doing that for you. I can’t say I honestly love you or that I am in love with you but I know I am falling for you. My heart is not for anyone else. God has made me for and you for me. I am beinging to love you for all that you are, all that you have been and all youre yet to become. “I interrupted Ethan and asked.

“What the first thing you noticed when you look at other women. Like Chloe her colored eyes and dark hair or blondie or who ever.” “I don’t see you so I stop looking.”

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone- we find it with each other. It’s crazy because I don’t know when you became so important to me. It was like watching a snow storm. You see the flakes falling, but you don’t realize how they’re adding up. Then suddenly your lawn is coved all hose little things added up. Journee you’re my own personal snow storm. All the things you do added up you have covered my life, my heart and soul. Will you do me the honor in marrying me because I want to date you, fall in love you, build a life. I will try to give you a fraction of what you have given me. Let’s take this leap of faith together and grow together. Journee, will you marry me?”




















“No.”
I ran down stairs got my things and left.


**Ethan**
{Saturday} 

“Sitting here with Curtis looking at the ring I have for Journee. My mind is in a million places. “Ethan, just give her some time.” “She is leaving soon. By the way thank you for taking her out so I could set everything up.” “Not a problem. I didn’t mind.” “She will come back. Tristan is here.” “But when, when will she be back. My heart is hurting but even through this I just have to trust God.”

Before I could finish Curtis, phone went off. He gave me a look and answered mid third ring.

“Hello.”
“Curtis, I need you to come to the club now please.”
“Slow down Journee what’s wrong.”
“Please come get me now.”
“I’m on the way.”

“Come on Ethan, Journee needs us.” “Where is she at?” “Her strip club.” We quickly left and headed to the club. 
When we got there Curtis text Journee and she said meet her at the back door. She came out the back door in a short yellow robe.

“You brought Ethan?” “He was with me when you called. Whats wrong.” “I think my foster dad is here?” My blood boil quickly. “Where is he.” I asked “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him.” “Then how do you know” “Her is what happened.”

“I was asked to do a three-song stage. I was fine with that.” “What is that.” “Oh, that’s where a dancer is on stage for three songs straight.” Journee and I both looked at Curtis. “I’m not going to ask how you know that.” I said as Journee continued.
“My boss asked me and said it was a request. All of my regulars know I’m leaving so I assumed it was one of them. But the second song is what did it for me. Pornstar. When I was in Flordia I was dancing at the club and he was their and then of course when he wanted the private dance. It was that song. I been had a weird feeling some one has been watching me all night all most haunting me. The song I just kept looking and I thought I saw his eyes but I can’t say for sure.”

“Journee, go get your stuff and you can stay at my house.” Curtis said. I gave him a questionable look. “Ethan, you come and stay too.” “I’ll get some clothes and we will go stay at your house Curtis.” Journee went to open the door. I grab her wrist and quickly turned to me. “You might want to disguise yourself.” She nodded and went back inside. “Do you think he is really here?” “Curtis, I don’t know but it’s a good chance he is.” “I’ll call the police station and see Derrick is on call and have him ride by my house or some other officers.” Curtis called as Journee came out the door. “Come on let’s go.” 


After going to my house and getting me my things we headed to Curtis house. When we got to his house we went in and sat on the couch. Curtis phone rung and he excussed himself. I sat beside Journee and fear was all over her body. “I promise everything is going to be alright.” Curtis came back and said He will be driving by regularly. Journee Come on I’ll show you where you can take a shower and where you will be sleeping.” “Thank you, Curtis.” I watched Journee go down the hall behind Curtis. I let out a deep breath and thank God for keeping hr safe.

I woke up to hear loud screaming. I rushed to go the room where Journee is. I open the door with Curtis on my heels. “Journee whats wrong.” “He’s here” She screamed out with tears flowing down her face and Curtis rushed out the room and out the door. I went to go but Journee grabbed me. “Please don’t leave me Ethan.” I held Journee as she broke down in my arms.

I heard Curtis yell for us. I interlocked mine and Journee’s hand and we walked in the the living room and saw Curtis holding some man. Journee peaked from behind me and her whole body froze and she screamed in silent fear and cried hard. I picked her up carrying her back to the room.

A few hours after the police came and got him Journee finally went to sleep. I stayed up and watched her sleep. She would jump at times still scare and full of fear. I kissed her cheek and continued to watch her ‘til I finally went to sleep in a chair next beside the bed.

**Journee **
Waking up I look down my hand to see Ethan is holding it. “It’s not polite to stare” “Good morning Ethan.” “How you are feeling?” “Still scared.” “I’ll always protect you Journee.” “Ethan, I don’t know how to love, or how to be loved.” Tears slowly fell down my face. Ethan gently wiped them away. “There are things I don’t know or fully understand, but I’m hoping we can get through it together.” “I’m scared.” “I want you bare. I want you so raw and vauraibale to me and God that we are your life line. I want a raw love. I want our love to scare the both of us. So, open and real others look and say I want that. I only want it with you and having God guide us. God is the only other person that will be with us.”

“Ethan look at me im a mess.” “You are a beautiful mess that is damaged, broken, and hurt but hat can and will change. Trust me Journee.” “How can I trust you when I can’t and don’t even trust myself.” “How about we trust together and learn how to really love.” Tears fell from my eyes. “I’m tired of running Ethan” “Just run to me. I’m standing right here waiting for you Journee. Your running to everybody else and all over but you’re not running to the person who is waiting for you.” I looked up at Ethan in his deep ocean eyes. Fear and hope battled within me. I became scared and felt paralyzed only my tears were moving. I finally broke through my pain and smiled. 

“Yes, I will marry you.”  
Ethan hugged me tight and whispered inmy ear “I’m never going t let you go.”
When we pulled apart Ethan reached inhis pocket and pulled out the ring. He started sliding it down my finger and stopped looking me dead in my eyes.

“Nothing from the outside can hurt or destroy us only from the inside and I will never hurt you or us I promise.” “I promise too.” I said as he slided the ring down my finger.

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