Mistake

Chapter 23

Louis watches as Harry's eyes soften as his eyes fill with more pain than were already filling his eyes. Louis takes a big breath knowing he has to continue. Has to get his view across, so that he could understand to at least some extent.

'So honestly Harry... I hated you. I hated you because you hurt me when you'd known I had given you my heart. I blamed you for every little pain I felt, I never wanted to see you again because you had completely and utterly destroyed me. More so than ever. I hated to hear your name and to see you on the news, I hated the sound of your voice on the radio because it hurt. It hurt so much my body burned. I blamed you... I put all my guilt onto you.'

Taking a deep breath as Louis thinks of what else he would say, he spots the tears overwhelming Harry's eyes, alongside the pain and guilt he is filling.

'I never felt you deserved to know of our children because they were mine. My babies. I didn't want to allow you to hurt them, to even give you the chance. I was blind... I knew that when they turned one and you wasn't there. I knew I had made a mistake but it was something I didn't know how to fix. It still hurt, my heart still ripped from my chest and looking at them made my body burn. I couldn't live without them and that was another fear.. That you would take them when I told you'

Louis watches the disbelief enter Harry's eyes as he begins to allow the tears in his eyes to fall down his face slowly.

'I am so truly sorry for keeping this from you... I just... I let the pain you caused me consume me and I erm I blamed you for me nearly losing them when that wasn't your doing ... Not really'

Louis take a deep breath as he finally has no idea what else to say as Harry watches Louis with such a heartbroken expression. It's silent for a few moments before Harry straightens and looks up with a confused look.

'What do you mean you almost lost them?'

Louis gasps at realisation 'oh erm. It doesn't matter'

'Tell me' Harry almost growls at me with a look of determination.

'I that day I left when I found out about what had happened with you..: I was hysterically crying.. I did something stupid and got in my car. I was driving and on the phone to Liam... I couldn't breathe or really see. I should have pulled over and walked but I couldn't.  It was like I couldn't control my body or mind. I crashed.. A long piece of glass pierced my stomach. I was lucky... They were fine although complications. It is the reason Ren doesn't talk much.. His vocal cords had damage to them during birth never developing fully.  He has to have an op, we just have to wait until he's a bit older.'

Louis pauses watching Harry before he finish off 'I blamed you for that because if you hadn't hurt me the way you did I would have never been crying and in that car. We would have found out I was pregnant together.-' I'm quick to grab his hands and make him look at me-' but it was never your fault. It was my own. I shouldn't have gotten in that car. I should have listened when Liam told me to pull over. I should have told you I was pregnant. I am so sorry Harry... So sorry. Please forgive me and be a father to my - no our children. I may not deserve you in my life but the children deserve to know how amazing their father is'

Harry cries openly and Louis is quick to literally climb into his lap and hold him as he holds onto louis just as tightly while Louis to cry's. They were both at fault... They had both messed up and made a mistake. They had to if they wanted to move on forgive each other. Louis knew seeing harry like this he had already forgiven him. Harry just had to earn Louis' trust. The question was would Harry forgive Louis for what he had robbed him of.

They must have sat there for a while in silence while sobbing their hurts out. Both had hurt the other and they were both now trying to forgive and move on.

There's movement from behind them and they are both quick to jump up and move away from each other to see whom the intruder was.

Louis smiles a wet smile as he sees his little boy walking towards them with furrowed eyebrows as his eyes look over Louis and Harry.

Louis looks at Harry to see him watching their little boy in awe and wonder. Louis' heart breaks even more at the thought of how much this had hurt Harry.

Lorenzo breaks the silence by asking 'mummy this person yous hurt?'

Louis smiles as Harry's head snaps towards him 'yes baby, this is the person I hurt'

Lorenzo walks closer looking at Harry, he tugs Harry's arms causing him to kneel down into the floor.

'My mummy hurts you' he says with a factual tone.

'I we hurt each other, little man. '

Ren stares for a while in consideration and thought before looking to his mummy 'Yous say sorry?'

'Well baby I explained what happened. He knows I am very sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him'

Louis looks on in pride as his son. No their son then turns to Harry and states 'mummy sorry mister. He no mean to hurt you, feels real bad. Crying all night'

Harry to looks stunned at the statement and his little boy. He cannot control the sob that breaks through his mouth. He had missed the joy of his children's  lives.

Ren looks panicked as he sees the man crying and he quickly cuddles into the man. 'It okay to cry. Cry and then feel better. It okay mister. Mhmm say sorry. Forgive and make up. It okay'

Louis slowly leans down holding Harry and his son as he lets tears fall. He repeats his sons words

'It's okay'