My Poetry

Letter To My Depression

Hello depression.

Yep, its me again!

I just thought that it was time that I let you know how I really feel about you.

I mean maybe your not as bad as everyone seems to think because I personally love some of your work.

I love how you whisper in my ear when people are around so its that much harder to fake a smile.

I love how every night you remind me of how much of a screw up I am and then every morning you help me pick out a new face to hide my true one.

I love how you whisper in my ear

"are you sure you wanna eat today because the scale says you should stop."

I love how you hold me down like a brick tied to my ankle.

I love when you whisper to me in the dark telling me

"just one more cut and you can be done"

"just starve yourself for a little longer and you will be pretty"

"no we cant tell anyone because do you really want to be more of a bother?"

.........Oh depression you don't even know what you do to me.....

because of you the old cuts on my wrist that used to yell

"STOP"

Now yell

"yes please just a couple more!"

My makeup bag gets empty at an alarmingly fast rate but no matter how much I lather on im still me and my mirror doesn't like the reflection looking back at it!

I only weigh 125 pounds but I need to be smaller because my self consciousness tells me that anything over 115 is absurd!

My face is to plain, my bodies to short, and I have fat on my bones where fat shouldn't be so how can I live with myself!?!

And the answers simple......

I cant.

So tonight when the house is quite and everyone is asleep I will let go.

ill grab the gun hidden away in my parents room and I will aim....breath....and shoot.

As everything starts ringing and I start to see stars I will remember the blue and red lights that carry me away.

I will see my parents crying but I wont be seeing it from heaven or even hell because depression I didn't load the gun.......

So next time you whisper into my ears remember the power that I have against you.

I guess in a way this is a suicide note......

But im not the one leaving.....

You are.

**************************

Yep okay so heres the second one!!

I decided that ill post one or two every day because I have a lot lol

Beyyyy!!!

'Stay strong angels!!

xoxo ~ MSM