Hurting For A Very Hurtful Pain

🅒🅗🅐🅟🅣🅔🅡 1: ₩ⱧɎ ĐØɆ₴ ł₮ ⱧɄⱤ₮?

If I were to have one wish, it'd be to stop hurting others.

I don't know how I do it, but everywhere I go lingers an unintentional pain that seems to hurt everyone I come in contact with.

M̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶S̶t̶o̶p̶p̶e̶d̶ ̶L̶i̶v̶i̶n̶g̶

Maybe if I stopped trying to act...Maybe then I'd earn their love...?

---

~January 4th 8:00 pm~

Well what do you know, another day of being ignored...

Tired of my daily routine I decided to head to bed early. I didn't need to be bothered with their harsh words today.

Curling up in the blanket, I allowed myself to cry. Tears slowly pooled my eyes before streaming down my cheeks leaving a familiar chilling sensation. I hated this. It's not like anyone really cared to notice the damp pillow. I sat there feeling like a miserable child as I sobbed loudly. I didn't understand it.

Why was I crying?

I knew my place, I knew I didn't deserve their love for being so painful but it hurt so damn much...

My chest stung...I held the pillow close. I had to finish soon. I couldn't imagine how harshly they'd tease me if they saw me at my weakest...

To my horror, I saw a figure in the doorway. Panicking, I ran into the washroom roughly wiping my now red and puffy eyes with a towel. I threw on my shades running out. It was my little Jyushimatsu.

Though his smile remained his eyes looked distressed.

"Heh, what ever could be the matter my little Jyushimatsu?" I asked holding out my arms for the fifth brother whom eagerly jumped me into a hug.

Overjoyed, I gently squeezed him in my arms. Savouring the moment...The one time I actually felt like a big brother since t̷h̷e̷n̷.

His shoulders shook.

Frantic, I gently cupped his cheeks to see his face. He too was crying.

"A-Ah, do not fret bruzza! I shall accompany you until you feel better, ok?" I asked.

He nodded quivering gently. I tucked him into the blanket. "I'll go make you some food-" I offered before feeling his large sleeves tugging at my arm. "H-Hm?" I asked finding myself nervous. I didn't want to mess up. Not again...

"Why were you crying...?" Jyushimatsu asked. His voice weak.

I looked away. My heart pounding as I began to sweat. 'He saw, does this mean he's actually concerned...?' I thought allowing myself to dare the possibilities. "A-Ah, I simply watched a sad video~" I cooed not wanting to upset him further.

Jyushimatsu then presented one of his brilliantly bright smiles. He tugged on my arm. Dragging my out of the room.

Taken aback, I followed eagerly. "Where are we-"

"Sh!" He cut me off with a giggle. "We gotta be quiet! We're gonna go for a secret walk!" He declared with a childish hum. Whispering loud enough for everyone to hear.

They all knew of his plan but decided to let him think he was sneaking out.

I tilted my head. "Secret?" I asked as he darted outside.