the journal - h.s.

66

“Thirdly he does not know everything, because then he would know just how amazing and warm hearted his talented son is. I know this is not your fault Harry - this is him dealing with his own problems in a way that isn’t fair to you. You have done absolutely nothing wrong,” I held his gaze the entire time, right until I was finished talking and a small sigh caused by the unfairness of the situation escaped my lips. Closely followed by him leaning in crossing the small space between us and kissing me gently.

His warm hands cupped my face. They felt absolutely amazing though they were only adding to the heat in my cheeks. I could feel his heart race under the palm of my hand against his chest. It was such a strange but comforting feeling. It was like being able to know his thoughts and feelings by reading the physical signs. Like those moments I could tell how he felt just by looking at his eyes, or his smile. How I could always read something from every line of his features. But the words were blurry - unlike the feeling of his racing heart, which spoke a clear language.

He broke the kiss again - this time a smile suiting his pink full lips; the kind that made his dimples show, “thank you, babe.”

In response I kissed him briefly again, which made him chuckle deeply. God I couldn't stop. His lips were addicting and so welcomingly warm. I knew my words hadn’t washed away the deeper cuts in his heart, but maybe they had helped just for now. And maybe that was what he needed for now - just enough to keep him going so he could heal slowly but fully on his own. A plaster to a wound, which had to heal on its own.

 

[harry’s pov]

 

“I’m sure you don’t have to go either. I mean if you don’t want to you shouldn’t feel forced,” she spoke in a small voice. My chuckling turned into a silent smile, as I brushed my thumb over the corner of her lips. God, she was so beautiful. If only she knew that I had to. That he had me in a corner and going to his stupid event would be my only and finale escape away from him. But I didn’t want to trouble her lovely heart and corrupt her beautiful smile further with my problems, so I simply kissed her lightly and told her she was probably right.

“So what are your plans for today?” Silently I was hoping so very much she would just stay here in this bed with me till end of time, but reality was a fact that couldn’t be ignored unfortunately. I had asked casually, not wanting to think more about my father in this moment. Not that it had been annoying having her ask into the topic - quite the opposite. It felt strangely good to have someone ask about it; to have someone caring and listening, but I just didn't want to spend another second more of this perfect moment with her - with him on my troubled mind.

“What day is it?” Amber asked slightly confused, as she tugged away her hair. She had closed her eyes as if trying to remember her normal schedule as that regular citizens of earth she disbelievingly enough actually was, though I was pretty convinced she had to an angel destined to stay here with me for all of eternity.     

“Thursday. Since it was Wednesday yesterday and tomorrow will be - “ I teased, but was cut off by her soft laughter and the light shoving, “okay. Okay! Thursday! I get it. Yeah ehm well I don’t have any classes tonight and Marc agreed on taking my shift today since he needed the extra work or something like that.”

Marc. I wasn’t sure if I had met him yet. Marc. But I couldn’t stop hoping he was very unattractive, played for the other team, or in some other way wasn’t going to be … a problem.

Gosh. I had to stop thinking like this! I didn’t own Amber - nobody did but herself. Yet here I was with my jaw tensed and already disliking the guy!

“What about you?” She caught me off guard and I had to force myself off the topic of how Amber of course had several other male acquaintances, that I shouldn’t consider as fucking threats. What was wrong with me?

“Eh -- I think I,” focus. I took a deep breath and released the air heavily, “I got some practice with the band and then I might be able to make someone take my nightshift at the hotel.”

She was still sitting close to me. Not caring how my white oversized t-shirt didn’t do a very good job covering her exposed thighs right now. That meant she felt comfortable around me right? Didn’t it? And she was in my shirt. And hell she looked like a greek goddess of the beautiful morning kind. I couldn’t stop smiling at the sight. I couldn’t stop my heart from beating crazily, which I knew she could feel with her hand still on my chest. The mere thought made it beat faster for crying out loud!

The thing was, she might be afraid taking that leap of faith, which it took to let yourself love someone else - but I had already fallen a thousand miles for this girl. And it was probably stupid, and probably crazy, and probably even a little insane, but that was what love was ought to be right? Reckless and with great risks of utterly painful heartbreaking.

 “Do you wanna come? To the practice I mean? I don’t think the guys would mind - maybe Jenny will come too,” I asked hopefully, loving how close she was. Greedy for wanting her even closer and all to myself. When she smiled and stated a confident ‘sure’; I wanted to attack her with kisses till she drowned.

“That’s cool.” My voice sounded way too excited for ‘playing it cool’, I continued with a goofy, defeated smile and a headshake; “so do you want some breakfast? I think we got,” then she interrupted me with that crooked smile and her asking tone; “dry cereals?”

“And water,” I added, unable to hold back that damned wide beam for any longer, that so very clearly witnessed of my recklessly failling.

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a/n: hi guys ^^ so just shortly; I am very soon going to start on a Harry story called 'Grease', which will be a mix of Dirty Dancing, Grease, and with a twist of Cinderella. The prologue is already up if you wanna check it out :) x massive love from me! 

And let's have another group hug again sometime? it kinda r-o-c-k-e-d last time cus ya all amazing xx