I Won't Let Go [ BWWM ]

Chapter 38

“Sweetheart Ethan has his own demons. He puts on a good façade and most cant tell only those all around him. He battles them daily.” “Like what” “That is for me to say. It’s for him to tell you. I have to leave I got to go visit my parents.” “May I ask you something before you go” “Sure.” “What is it like to have friends.” I say in a low tone. “What do you mean.” “I don’t have any and probably never will.” “Well Ethan and I have been friends for so long I mean we were kids we spen and still do spend every day together. I can’t[IS1]  put into words how you need me to. They are special people in your life who will always be there for you. One who love you and see you for who you are.” “I will never know that feeling or have some one.” Curtis walked over to me. kissed my forehead. Of course, you do. You have me. Here let me give you something for face.” Curtis went and got me some ice for my face. “I’ll check on you tomorrow.” “Ok. Thank you.”   After Curtis left I laid down and was fast asleep.

*** Ethan ***

Sitting at luch with Amber my mind was soley on Journee. “Ethan, Ethan.” I am brought ou of my thoughts with Amber calling my name. “I’m sorry I have a lot on my mind.” “That woman the one who interrupted church.” “I don’t see what she did as an interruption.” “Why not she came running into Church in that short green dress and those heels. Look like some one on the streets.”

“Everyone is welcome in my church. God says, ‘Come as you are’ God will do the rest.” “I know that but it’s a time for it.” “When is the time? when it is to late. God’s time is not like ours.” “I know tgis Ethan but still.” “I have to go.” “I quickly left and went back to the church thinking about all that had happen.

Evening sevices was cut short. After talking to Curtis, I went to go get something to eat and ended up here. I knocked on the door waited then I knocked again. The door open to see Journee like she had just woke up.

“I brought you dinner.” “Thank you.” “Are you just now waking up?” “Yeah after Curtis left I went to sleep.” “Hows your face and why did you sleep in those heels.” After waiting long enough I walked into Journess house. “Curis told you were I lived at.” “That he did.” “Here is your food.” “I’m about to make something want to join me.” “I would enjoy tha very much. What are you going to make” “S’more waffles.” “Never had them.” “Well you are in for a treat.”

While Journee cooked, we talked about random things like why she still walking in them shoes. She finally went and took them off and got some slippers while she just put some waffle batter on the iron. She made it back quick. Then finished up cooking while we talked more about more random things.

“Finally, all done.” She got us plates sat then on the table. “What do you want to drink?” “Tea is fine.” “that reminds me I need to finish my Georgia peach tea.” “That sounds good.” “You have no idea.” 

I said grace and we ate. “This is really good.” “Glad you like them.” We ate in silence and Journee looked like she had something on her mind. She kept looking at me strange. “Since you cooked for us how about I do the dishes.” “You don’t have to Ethan.” “I insist.” “I’ll take a shower while you do that.” When we finshed Journee went, and took a shower and I did the dishes. When she finished, I was finishing up. 

“Let’s find something to watch.” “Like what.” “I got Psych some where. I stared binge watching.” I found it and we watched but something wasn’t sitting right with me. “What do you want to ask me?” “What makes you think I want to ask you something” “You body language says it all.”

“What are your demons?” I was not expecting that atleast not from Journee. “You really want to know?” “yes, I do?” “I killed two people.” I watch her reacton change so fast. I knew it was time to tell her.

“One night Curtis and I went out it was a party and we were both drunk. I drove home I hit a car it went in a circle came back hit my car then mine it that car again it flipped one person go out asked for help. Curtis was out cold. Before I knew it, the car burst into flames. I ran and tried to get in the car and get them out but it was to late. Sad thing is my parents covered it up. I mean they paid because of their name but never knew how I was. I went out drinking again passed out some where and the next morning I had a bottle and half left. I went someones back yard I honestly don’t know what happened but house started smoking. I didn’t know what it was and I took two more drinks and heard moans like or cries. I got up saw that the house was on fire. I ran inside found an elderly man. I got him out and later fire men and paramedics came. In that moment, I knew I had to change. God sure does have a way of making you see things. I remember telling Curtis it was like I was trapped in hell but God. Then of course Curtis and mine grandparents died by fire and we both knew this is what we wanted to do. I haven’t drunk since but I wake up knowing I destroyed a family. I wake up seeing them in flames knowing I’m the one to blame.”

Journee walked over to me and hugged me tight. “Journee, I didn’t mean to. Even now it still gets to me.”  She let me go. “I didn’t realize it was so late.” “Ethan, can you stay with me just until I fall asleep.” “Sure.” I watched her get into bed and lay down. “Enjoyed you singing in church. You were singing to God and he will change you Journee just like he did for me.” She smilled and slowly went to sleep. I watched her as she slept and I heard it in a voice that could only be.  I kissed her cheek turned and looked her before I left.

“Thank you, God. I now know she is.”

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