misery

fine.

the darkness reciding in my heart is what keeps me from believing the lies life tries to throw at me, the world we live in is a cruel place, life isn't as we make it, as some people say, no life was planned to hurt us all, everything that happens in our life is a plan made to destroy us and this plan was created by Satan himself.

the never ending screaming match Downstairs, was once again keeping me awake, pushing my head deeply into my pillow didn't have the effect I hoped it would, as I could still here mum pleading for forgiveness and the dark, laugh bellowing from the kitchen. a glass shatters and a pain filled scream pieces my heart, I jump from my scared foetus position and take charge running down the stairs, I bone wrenching fear running through me, but the look of determination in my eyes.

"stop please" she screams knees on the floor and sobs racking her trembling chest,  I stop dead in my tracks, and stare at my life's ruins.
I take note of my surroundings, my fathers furious stance and my mothers defensive hands covering her bleeding face, another scar scratches it's marking into my heart and my exhausted mind battles with fatigue.

he takes another swing not seeing me in his blind rage, it hits her face with a sickening crack and a scream lodges itself in my throat I struggle to breath while she lay on the floor struggling to grasp consciousness in her weak fist, a weak cry escapes me and his head wips around in surprise, I look at him slowly and he looks back traumatised I see my dad hiding inside, punching and tearing to make his way out to piece back together another nights war.
I see the confliction in his eyes as he Stares at me,
his body let's loose, too miserable to stand he drops to the floor. 
a screaming silence fills my home tears stream down my face and my baby sister patters her way down our croaky stairs to stand at my side I pull her into my comforting arms and tell her everything will be fine the familiar words leave my tongue as her sobs slow to a stop I wonder when fine will ever find it's way into my broken world.