Don't Know If I Am Dying or Living

Please Use Discretion When You're Messing With The Message

"Tyler. Can we go for a walk?" Jenna asked.

Josh came up with this plan. Jenna knew everything about Tyler because of Josh. However, Tyler knew very little about Jenna.

They had only met each other face to face about a week ago, so this time spent alone felt needed.

For this special occasion, Jenna wore a colorful jacket, white converse, and black skinny jeans.

The colorful jacket was to express who she is inside and out. Different. She's not like everyone else, judging everyone else's every move. She just let's people live their life, because she knows how awful it is to be judged constantly.

The white converse show vulnerability. Like the converse, she is out in the open totally being capable of getting hurt, but she trusts her friends to not hurt her. Just like the shoes trust Jenna to not get them dirty. After all, white is the easiest to stain.

And finally black skinny jeans, similar to Tyler's. These show that she understands what it's like to feel the darkness all the time, even if it just lingers beneath all the other emotions.

Tyler smiled ear to ear when he saw her, "different, vulnerable, and understanding. I'd say it's the perfect attire for this evening." Tyler smiled even bigger (if thats possible) "where to?" He wondered out loud.

"I don't mind. I just want to spend time with you." Jenna told him.

"Without Josh?" He clarified to ease his uncertainty, "you want to spend time with me... without Josh?" Tyler looked to his old friend. Josh gave an encouraging nod back.

"We can go to the park... If you want," Tyler remembered that the park was one place where Jenna doesn't feel judged. She feels safe there.

Jenna smiled, "sounds good."

"Can I ask you something?" Tyler says.

"Sure, I Guess," Jenna said curiously.

He wiped his palms on his jeans as they began to make their way to the park. "When did you realize you could see dead people?"

"Um..." She thought a moment. "I think when I was about ten years old. My mom told me I was too old for 'imaginary friends'" Jenna finger quoted Imaginary Friends.

Tyler nods, "yeah me too. Then after a while, they started thinking I was insane."

Another argument between her parents while the three of them were on their way to one of Jenna's therapy sessions.

"Mom. I told you. This isn't working." She tried to control her temper.

"Jenna. Mother knowns best," her dad said. Basically his way of trying not to get yelled at by his wife as well.

Jenna rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to get better because I dont NEED to get better," she stated from the backseat.

Her mom painted on a dire expression. "I'm not going to tell you again Jenna Elizabeth. You are going to be normal or you aren't going to live under our roof."

Jenna grimaced at the memory. She didn't remember much after that, probably because she learned to tone her parents out after a while before coming to the decision to run away. With that decision, she met Josh and Tyler so she assumed that it had been the right one. After all, they don't constantly call her insane or  psychopathic.

Tyler looked into Jenna's eyes. Her beautiful ocean eyes. She was so blue-orange. Understanding, but fearful of what the people thought about her.

When Tyler was alive, he didn't really care what anyone else thought. He had a worried parent too. He could see people that no one else could see, too.

Tyler also saw hurt in those ocean eyes. He wanted to take it all away because he knew what it was like to be consumed by everything.

"The food is poisoned."

You're not who you're supposed to be.

For the first time in a long time, Tyler felt empathy.