TW: I don't know anything about guns, murder, assassin??
My hands shook anxiously as I stood outside the door; doing everything I could to control my breathing. I placed the gun in my bag. I battled with myself internally; doubting I should actually go through with this.
'You don't have to do this. You can run away with her. You can move move upstate; change your name. If you really love her you'll make it work.'
'Your boss is smarter than that. He's a step ahead of you at all times. Even if you did run away with her, he'd find you. He's gots spies all over the world. They'd find and kill you without a second thought. There isn't another option. It's either her or you.'
As much as I wanted to stop this, I knew for a fact that I couldn't. Her death was inevitable, and if I didn't kill her, mine was too. As I let out one last shaky breath, I rapped on the door that usually gave me a warm, happy feeling, but seeing her apartment number in this moment filled me with dread. Behind the door I could hear a loud thump followed by a string of curses. After a few counts my love showed at the door, gently rubbing her head.
"Hey! What's up, is everything okay? You look worried." She said, searching my face for a sign as to what might be bothering me. After I replied with nothing she looked at me quizzically, moving aside to allow me into her apartment.
"Are you gonna tell me what's on your mind, or are you gonna continue acting all mysterious?" She said, only partially joking. I chuckled falsely, trying desperately to rid myself of my nerves as I sat on her sofa.
"Ell, I need to apologize for something." I couldn't bear to look at her as I thought about what I was about to do. I was about to kill the love of my life without a second thought.
'It's her or me. It's her or me. Its her or me.'
"Baby, what are you talking about? Is everything alright?" She stepped closer to me and I slowly drew my gun from my bag. My finger was on the trigger, and it was obvious I was ready to shoot at any moment.
As I looked up, nothing but fear and betrayal filled her eyes.
"Please don't do this. You don't have to do this," She was sobbing at this point, "I can move away, I can fake my own death. Just please, don't shoot! Not here, not now!" Begging, crying hysterically, she held her arms up in defeat.
"Listen, if I could change the situation I would in a heartbeat. But I can't. And right now, it's your life or mine. So I don't have much of a choice." I took one last look at the love of my life. I took one last look into the deep brown eyes that I loved so dearly. I took one last look as I pulled the trigger. I took one last look as the fear, the terror, the life left them.
