Autistic in Wonderland

Misunderstood

There are people who will never understand what it's like. My parents are those kind of people. Yes, it is true. They hardly know that much about autism, despite being normal loving parents I know it's not easy for them.

I just wish people knew what it was like and to not be considered some mental case who only wants to gain attention. I don't like attention because it can actually overwhelm me. In fact, everything can be a trigger for me and you wouldn't even know it.

I live an everyday struggle just figuring things out on my own. I don't want sympathy and when I ask for acceptance that means that I want you to understand that my mind doesn't work like yours. Things you find to be know big deal are a huge deal for me.

Things aren't processed the same way and sometimes things aren't processed at all. When they are then most likely they got processed slowly or incorrectly. That's how meltdowns erupt. I struggle to express myself which is actually much worse. But that's where I am able to write instead of the struggles with verbal and emotional expression.

I don't always know the right things to say so they can come out wrong. People are more likely to twist my words thinking I was being rude when I don't know what I'm really trying to say or how to even say it. There are a lot of everyday struggles for me.

I don't blame my parents from not understanding me. Who could understand such a complicated and misunderstood autistic girl? I just wish they would listen to me instead of always judging me and saying that I'm the one hi is wrong. They don't even know what it's like being in my shoes.

I know I can't make everyone accept and understand what I go through but sometimes I guess it would be nice, you know?