So before we start I just want to say that my last AP test is on Tuesday and once that's done I'll try to update a little more. I'm just pretty busy rn.
ALSO I GOT TICKETS TO SEE HARRY IN CONCERT AND IM SO EXCITED BECAUSE THEY SOLD OUT IN LKE TWO MINUTES AND I WAS JUST SO LUCKY.
So anyways, onto this rant.
| MY SEPTUM RING; INSECURITY |
OKAY SO I GOT MY SEPTUM PIERCED ON SUNDAY THE 30TH OF APRIL AND I HAD BEEN WANTING TO GET ONE PIERCED FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT SINCE IM 18 I CAN DO WHAT I WANT BUT SHE JUST WONT APPROVE OF IT.
WHAT I DIDNT KNOW WAS THAT AS SOON AS SHE SAW IT SHE WAS GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
EVERYDAY SINCE I GOT IT DONE (which I know wasn't too long ago. But still) SHE HAS YET TI FAIL AT TELLING ME HOW UGLY IT IS AND HOW IT MAKES ME LOOK UNATTRACTIVE AND I LOOK LIKE A COW. OR LIKE I NEED TO BE ATTACHED TO A LEASH ETC ETC.
THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES WHEN SHES SO RELENTLESS IT HAS BROUGHT ME TO LITERAL TEARS BECAUSE THOUGH I CAN BE GOOD WITH WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT ME, IM STILL A VERY INSECURE PERSON AND BODY MODS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT MAKE ME FEEL FOOD ABOUT MYSELF SO WHEN IM ATTACKED FOR A BODY MOD ITS GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL INSECURE. NOT TO MENTION ITS MY MOTHER SAYING ALL OF THIS.
EVERYONE IVE TALKED TO HAS TOLD ME HOW MUCH THEY LOVE IT AND THEY THINK IT FITS MY FACE AND I APPRECIATE THAT. BUT MY MOTHER HAS MADE ME BELIEVE THAT IVE JUST WASTED MONEY AND SHES MADE KE CONTEMPLATE TAKING IT OUT.
SHES ALSO USED IT AGAINST ME AS WELL.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET A NEW TATTOO OVER THE SUMMER BUT SHE TOLD ME I COULDNT BECAUSE I DECIDED TO GET MY NOSE PIERCED.
SHE ALSO TOLD ME THAT NOW SHES NOT GOING TO HELP ME WITH THINGS SUCH AS IF I NEED TWENTY DOLLARS OR A RIDE SOMEWHERE BECAUSE "IF I WANT TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR MYSELF SINCE IM 18 SHES GOING TO TREAT ME LIKE IM 18"
THIS WAS IN NO WAY A RANT TO BASH MY MOTHER BUT RATHER AN EXPLANATION ON HOW IF YOU DONT KNOW THAT SOMEONE IS SO INSECURE THAT THEY DO BODY MODS TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER THAN YOU SHOULDNT VOICE YOURE OPINIONS.
MY MOTHER DOESNT KNOW HOW INSECURE I AM BECAUSE I DONT TALK TO HER ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE ENJOYS MAKING JOKES AND IDK WHY.
ALL IN ALL I BELIEVE IF IT WASNT FOR HER ID BE 100% IN LOVE WITH MY PIERCING BUT SHE MAKES ME DOUBT A LOT.
IVE NEVER LIKED MY NOSE BUT PLASTIC SURGERY IS EXPENSIVE AND NOT ALWAYS GUARANTEED TO BE HOW YOU WANT IT.
SO THE NEXT BEST THING WAS TO PIERCE IT.
I JUST WANTED TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST. THANKS FOR READING.
LOVE, C❤
